


Love & Lies

by CaptainSwanLuver



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Humor, Love/Hate, Romance, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-22 02:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6066558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSwanLuver/pseuds/CaptainSwanLuver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan is the star of the failing soap “Love & Lies”.  Killian Jones is the star of their rival soap. In order to raise ratings, Killian is hired to star on Emma’s soap. They immediately clash. Will sparks fly too?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I can't wait until this hiatus is over! Until we have our couple back on our screens soons, fanfics will have to do. Here's an alternate universe one for you. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 1/11…

Emma Swan, the star of the failing soap, ‘Love & Lies’, stared at herself in the mirror. She smiled at her reflection. She had to admit she looked damn good. 

Emma didn’t think that was vain of her, just a simple fact. She had developed a reputation as being a diva and difficult to work with, but she always felt it was undeserved. She simply thought of herself as a strong, tough, opinionated woman who doesn’t allow people to walk all over. 

One of the interns stuck her head into her dressing room, pulling Emma from her thoughts. 

“Ms. Swan, they’re ready for you.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Emma gave herself one last look in the mirror. She picked up her cup of coffee - something she could not make it through a morning without - then stood up and headed to the door. She opened the door and stepped outside, just as she was taking a sip of her coffee.

She immediately slammed right into someone’s chest. The top of her coffee cup came flying off and its contents spilled all over her white dress.

Emma stared down at her ruined outfit. “Look what you’ve done! You need to watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry, love,” came a British voice.

Emma raised her head and met the eyes of Killian Jones. Killian was the star of their rival soap, "The Fun and the Flirty". He was gorgeous and he knew it. He also had a reputation as a womanizer.

“Killian Jones,” he said, extending his hand.

“I know who you are,” she replied sharply, swiping at her dress.

He grinned and Emma couldn’t help but notice his heart-stopping smile. 

“I see my reputation precedes me.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “It does, but we’ve actually met before.”

Killian took a step closer to her. She looked into his sparkling blue eyes and swallowed hard. 

“I’m afraid that isn’t possible. I would never forget meeting a woman as beautiful as yourself.”

Emma stifled a groan. “It was at the Daytime Emmys last year. You hit on me. I’m not surprised you don’t remember. You were very drunk and hitting on everything with two legs and breasts.”

Killian shrugged his shoulders. “Apologies, love. I hope to make a better second impression.”

Emma gestured at her stained clothes. “Epic fail.”

“Third impression?” he asked with a lopsided grin and a cocked eyebrow.

Emma shook her head. “I don’t have time for this. They’re ready for me on set and now I have to change.”

She turned on her heel to go back into her dressing room when his voice stopped her.

“Your reputation precedes you too.”

She spun around and leveled him with a glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I heard you were difficult. Seems it was not an exaggeration.”

Emma crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I am a woman who stands up for herself and speaks her mind, so I am automatically labeled as difficult.”

He offered her a toothy grin. “Apologies. You seem like a ray of sunshine.”

Emma eyed him for a long moment. “Wait. What are you even doing here anyway? Last time I checked, you’re on our rival soap.”

Killian’s eyes swept across her face, admiring her beautiful features. “Well, I believe your information is outdated, love. I didn’t renew my contract with ‘The Fun and the Flirty’.”

Emma chuckled. “I guess they finally realized you’re all surface and no substance.”

He arched his brow. “Oh, is that so? Is that why I have three Emmys to your…” He paused, pretending to count on his fingers. “Oh, wait, that’s right. To your zero.”

Emma had been nominated 10 times and lost every one. It was a sore subject with her.

She groaned. “The Emmys mean nothing. It’s all political. It’s not about talent.”

“Whatever makes you feel better.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “So I guess since you’re out of work now, you came here to beg for a job. Well, you can turn right back around and crawl back into the hole you came out of. We’re not hiring.”

Killian smiled at her. “You’ve got it all wrong, love. I didn’t renew my contract because your soap offered me double what I was making on mine.”

Emma’s mouth hung open. “Excuse me? That must be more than I make.”

“Considerably more,” he replied, his eyes twinkling.

She shook her head. “I…I don’t understand. I’ve been on this show since I was fourteen. That’s sixteen years of my life. My character, Eva Rollins, has carried this show for years. I am the star of this soap.”

“Not anymore,” he replied. “You see, your show is on the brink of cancellation and the powers that be knew they needed something - or, more precisely, someone - to bring up the ratings. Enter yours truly.”

Emma clenched her jaw. “Typical. All they care about is appealing to the women sitting at home who want to gawk at handsome, half-naked men. It doesn’t matter if they can’t act.”

“Three Emmys,” he said, holding up three fingers.

“You know what? This isn’t happening. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

With that, Emma stalked off to the executive producer’s office.

Killian watched her go, a grin upon his lips.

…

Emma stormed into Regina Mills’ office without knocking. 

Regina smirked at her. “Well, well, well. I was wondering when you’d grace me with your presence. What took you so long?”

Emma’s eyes flared. “Killian Jones?! You hired Killian Jones?! And you gave him more money than I make? To top it all off, you didn’t even have the decency to tell me ahead of time!”

Regina leaned forward, folding her hands on her desk. “Perhaps you’re a bit confused, Ms. Swan, but I don’t have to run my hiring decisions by you.”

“He can’t even act! He’s just a pretty face.”

“A pretty face with three Emmys and a legion of dedicated female fans who will follow him wherever he goes. That is what we need, Ms. Swan. In case you’ve been living under a rock, our ratings are dismal. What better way to raise them than by stealing away the eye candy from our timeslot rival? The network already informed me that if we don’t get our ratings up, then we won’t be around this time next year. Then we’ll both be out of a job.”

Emma crossed her arms defiantly. “It’s obvious that I am not respected or appreciated around here, so whether or not we’re around in a year means nothing to me because I quit!”

Regina’s eyes narrowed at her. “Go ahead. We’ll sue you for breach of contract.”

Emma sighed in defeat. “Fine, but I refuse to share the screen with him. Keep him away from me.”

Regina grinned, as Emma stormed out of her office. 

…

Emma was so angry she felt her hands clenching and unclenching as she walked down the hallway. The intern from earlier appeared by her side.

“They’re going crazy on set. You need to come now.”

Emma gestured to her stained dress. “Well, our new so-called eye candy ruined my outfit, so I have to change. Tell them they’re going to have to wait.”

“Okay, but hurry,” she said, and turned in the opposite direction.

Emma stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth dropping open at what was taking place at her dressing room. One of the workers was putting up a nameplate on the door. Above hers.

She stalked over to him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“My job,” he said, as he finished nailing in Killian Jones above Emma Swan.

“This is my dressing room!”

“I just do what I’m told,” he said, as he walked away.

Emma threw open the door and glared at Killian. He was sitting in her chair, his feet propped up on her make-up table.

“Get out,” she said through gritted teeth. “This is my dressing room.”

He shrugged his shoulders, crossing his arms over his chest, and settling more comfortably into the seat.

“Our dressing room.”

“This has been my dressing room for sixteen years. You’ve been here - what? Sixteen minutes? Get out!”

Killian stood up and came to stand so close to her she could feel his warm breath on her skin. It was distracting.

“Apparently, all of the dressing rooms are taken. Since yours is by far the largest, they told me to share it with you until one becomes available for me.”

“That could take months. Years even.”

Killian patted her shoulder. “I suppose you’re stuck with me then, roomie.”

Emma groaned in defeat. “I don’t have time for this. You’ve already made me late to set. I need to change.”

He moved to her make-up table and sat on the edge. He gestured to her with his hand. “Proceed.”

Her eyes widened. “In front of you? You must be crazy.”

“Trust me, love, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen many, many times before.”

“You’re a pig. Leave.”

“Sorry, I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“How about home? It’s not like you start filming today.”

“True, but I was told they want me to stay for fittings.”

“Just wait outside while I get changed before I make it so your handsome face won't be fit for anything but radio.”

Killian chuckled, as he gave her a nod of his head. "Feisty, I like that."

He gestured to a screen in the corner. 

“Look, if you’re so shy, then I believe those are for changing behind.”

Emma gritted her teeth together so hard she was surprised she didn’t crack several of them.

Without a word, she ripped a dress off the rack and walked behind the screen. Killian watched as her arms flailed behind it. She dropped the ruined dress onto the floor. His eyes stared at the screen, imagining what her beautiful body must look like behind it. 

She finished changing and emerged from behind the screen in a skintight red dress. Killian swallowed hard.

“You clean up nicely.”

Emma bent down to pick up her dress, then walked over to him, shoving it into his chest. 

She smirked at him. “I’ll expect it back tomorrow dry cleaned. If the stain can’t be removed, then you can reimburse me.”

“Doesn’t the show provide your wardrobe?”

“They do, but I keep everything I wear. I never appear on screen in the same outfit twice. So that dress is mine now.”

“I see. Well, I’ll take great care of it.”

Emma didn’t say another word to him as she left the dressing room and headed for the set. Killian took the dress and dropped it into the trash can. 

…

 

Three hours later, Emma returned from set and groaned at the sight of Killian still in her dressing room.

“You’re still here?”

“They wanted me to do some promo photos after the fittings.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “They sure aren’t wasting any time. I’m done for the day. I’m not scheduled to work again until Wednesday so enjoy your weekend doing whatever it is you do and I guess I will see you then.”

She picked up her purse and was about to leave the dressing room when she heard a knock.

She opened the door and smiled at the man who stood behind it.

“Hey,” August said. “Ready to go?”

Emma discreetly tried to block his view of the dressing room and placed her hand on his chest to push him back into the hallway.

“Yup, I’m all-…”

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?” she heard a voice come from behind her.

Emma sighed in frustration and opened the door, revealing Killian to August.

“Killian Jones, this is my boyfriend, August Booth. He plays Tad Woodsworth, a photographer and my onscreen husband.”

Killian raised his eyebrows at that. August eyed Killian, as he extended his hand.

Emma went on. “August, this is Killian Jones. He just signed with the show.”

August nodded. “I know who you are. I’ve admired your work for some time.”

Killian grinned, as Emma rolled her eyes. “Thanks, mate.”

“Our ratings could certainly use the help,” August said.

Killian gestured between Emma and August. “So, how long have you two been together?”

“Five years,” August said. “Right after I started with the show. We’ve been married two years on the show.”

Killian nodded. “Five years. That’s quite impressive. Do you two live together? Wedding bells in your future?”

Emma dropped her gaze to the ground. “I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”

August shrugged. “It’s okay. He’s just trying to get to know his new co-stars. We do not live together and we have no immediate plans to marry. Of course, that is not from lack of trying on my part. I’ve asked Emma to move in with me three times and proposed twice, but I was turned down each time.”

Emma felt her face redden. Killian’s eyes moved to her. “Wow, mate, that’s rough.”

August put his arm around Emma’s shoulders. “I’m a patient man and Emma's worth waiting for. When she's ready, I’ll be waiting.”

Emma looked up at him and forced a smile. “You know what I’m ready to do? Leave.”

August nodded. “Okay, let’s go. Nice to meet you, Killian. I look forward to working with you and getting to know you better.”

Killian smiled. “Aye, I look forward to the same.”

With that, Emma and August walked out of the room and down the hall. Killian’s eyes followed them until they turned the corner. 

…

Wednesday morning, Emma walked into her dressing room and stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth dropping open at what she saw. 

The room had been transformed. All of her belongings were now pushed onto one half of the room. Her couch and chaise lounge sat in the middle of her side, making it nearly impossible to navigate the room. The other half now had a black leather recliner, mini fridge, and a foosball table. A dart board was on one wall and a 42 inch flat screen TV was on the opposite wall. 

Her make-up table, which spanned one entire wall was still there, but all of her make-up and toiletries had been pushed onto her half and the other half was filled with DVDs, video games, and hair gel.

Emma’s fists clenched and her nostrils flared. 

“What do you think?” she heard come from behind her.

Emma spun around and offered Killian a glare that should have left him a dead man.

“Is this a dressing room or a man cave?” she asked through gritted teeth.

Killian spoke with a flourish of his hand. “It’s much improved, don’t you agree?”

“No, I don’t agree! There’s no room for any of my things.”

“You can rearrange your side however you like. I felt this was the fairest way to do things.”

Emma stepped close to him. “Fair? I’ve had this dressing room for sixteen years and now I am forced to share it with an overgrown frat boy. What about that is fair?”

Killian grinned at her. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re even more beautiful when you’re angry?”

Emma was taken aback by the comment. She lowered her gaze and took a step backwards. “I don’t think that was an appropriate comment.”

“What?” he asked with a raised brow. “I can’t say you’re beautiful?”

Emma gestured between them. “I obviously have no choice but to tolerate you in my dressing room, but I do not have to speak to you or get to know you on a personal level. So that means no more asking me about my personal life or my relationship with my boyfriend. Or commenting on how I look. As for our professional relationship, well, I have already informed the executive producer that I will not be sharing screen time with you.”

Killian waited a beat. “Are you done?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” he said, holding up a script. “Because I have to go over my lines.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “They’ve already written you into the show?”

He shrugged. “No time to waste.”

“Who are you playing?”

“Tyler Harland. Male model.”

Emma let out a snort. “Little old for a male model, don’t you think?”

“Well, Eva Rollins, famous fashion designer, doesn’t seem to think so,” he said, pointing at the words on the page.

Emma’s eyes narrowed at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It says here on the page that Eva Rollins takes an immediate interest in Tyler.”

Emma grabbed the script from his hands. Her mouth grew wide. “Your first scene is with me.”

Killian grinned knowingly. “Ah, that’s right. You play Eva Rollins. I suppose we will be sharing the screen then.”

Emma’s jaw tightened. “I can’t believe this. After I specifically said I didn’t want to work with you.”

“Hard to believe anyone would ever describe you as a diva or difficult to work with.”

Emma leveled him with a glare. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“And you seem determined to make sure it remains that way.”

Emma dropped her eyes, her voice softening. “I know what people say about me, but they don’t understand where I came from. I didn’t have an easy childhood and I fought tooth and nail to get to the top. And, even then, things weren’t easy, things happened that I had no choice but to deal with. But I am where I am today because I don’t let people walk all over me. If that makes me a diva or difficult to work with then so be it.”

His eyes scanned her face for a long moment. “What happened to you?” he whispered.

Emma swallowed hard and shook her head, intent on changing the subject since she’d already revealed far more about herself to him than she ever intended. 

“What were you told about your character?” she asked, gnawing on her lower lip worriedly.

“Well, apparently, Eva and Tyler are going to become involved in a tawdry love affair.”

“What?!” Emma screamed. “My character has been happily married to Tad for two years. We’re a very popular couple. They can’t do this!”

Killian shrugged. “Fans don’t want to watch happy couples, Emma. They want drama and lies and love triangles.”

“That’s just insulting to our viewers.”

“Face it, love, happy is dull. Much like your relationship with June.”

“June?”

“Your boyfriend.”

“You mean August?”

“Ah, I knew he was named after a month.”

“He was named after Augustus Caesar, emperor of Rome.”

“And so was the month.”

Emma shook her head. “Forget about August.”

He grinned. “Gladly.”

“I don’t know what Regina is thinking. You don’t raise ratings by pissing off your loyal viewers.”

“It’s about getting the fans talking. If they go on Twitter spewing angry comments, then that means they’re watching and it’s good buzz for the show.”

“Well, I think it’s going to backfire,” she said.

Killian stepped close to her. “They’re pairing up the two hottest stars in daytime, Emma. What could possibly go wrong?”

Emma swallowed hard at the thought.

…  
End of Part 1  
Thanks for reading! I'd love to know your thoughts! ~Steph


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the first part. Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 2/11…

 

The following day, Emma entered her dressing room, rolling her eyes at the sight of Killian in his leather recliner.

“Do you ever leave?”

“Good morning to you too, love,” he said with a grin. 

She sat down at her make-up table. He stood up and walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the table beside her.

“It’s a rather big day today. I make my debut.”

Emma feigned a smile. “I am so excited I can barely contain it.”

“I sensed that,” he replied with a grin. “So would you like to run lines together?”

Emma shook her head. “No, I don’t work like that.”

Killian cocked an eyebrow. “May I ask why not?”

“I just prefer to learn my lines and work things out with my scene partner during rehearsal. I think it flows more naturally that way.”

Killian nodded. “Well, I’ll tell you how I work. I like to run lines so I am comfortable with my scene partner.” He leaned toward her and Emma moved her eyes down. “And since our characters are going to be getting very close on the show, I think it could only benefit us to be as prepared as possible.”

Emma swallowed hard and stood abruptly. “Ah, but that would require me to spend even more time with you and, unfortunately, I am already having difficulty stomaching you for even small amounts of time.”

She made a move to walk away, when his hand gently encircled her wrist. He turned her back towards him, as he came to stand before her. His eyes scanned hers and she felt her heart begin to race. He licked at his lips.

“Listen, love, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not. If you don’t start trusting me, then I can promise you it will translate to the screen. Is that what you want?”

Emma tore her wrist free from him and took a step back. “I want to do my job to the best of my ability. I am a professional and I work a certain way. I’m sorry if you lack the acting skills to properly prepare yourself for your scenes on your own, but I can’t help you.”

With that, Emma made her way to the door and left. Killian sighed in frustration, as he ran a hand through his hair.

…

Emma walked down the hall and nearly bumped into her best friend, Belle French. Belle played Lexi Rose, her character’s assistant on the soap. They started on the show at the same time when they were 14 and they had been inseparable ever since. 

“You’re back from vacation!” Emma said, hugging her.

Belle nodded. “Yes, good to be back. Of course, I leave for two weeks and the show goes and hires soaps’ sexiest man alive.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started.”

Belle chuckled. “I figured you wouldn’t be pleased.”

“That is the understatement of the year. They gave him a lot more money than me and made me share my dressing room with him.”

Belle’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? And it gets worse.”

Belle tilted her head. “How?”

“The show is going to have Eva start an affair with his character Tyler.”

Belle shrugged her shoulders. “That makes sense.”

“Excuse me? Have you forgotten that my character is happily married and that Eva and Tad are a very popular couple.”

Belle waved her hand. “You know the powers that be think happy is boring. It makes sense to take the two biggest stars on the show and put them together. It’s good for ratings.”

Emma groaned. “You sound like Killian.”

Belle smiled. “You know, I could think of worse things than having to share my dressing room and kiss someone as drop dead gorgeous as Killian Jones.”

Emma dropped her eyes. “He’s not bad to look at, I’ll give him that.”

“Emma, come on,” Belle said.

Emma waved her hand. “It doesn’t matter what he looks like, because the moment he opens his mouth you realize his personality is completely off-putting.”

Just then, they spotted Killian walking towards them.

“Speak of the devil,” Belle muttered.

Killian stopped in front of them, extending his hand to Belle. “You must be Belle French.”

Belle blushed, shocked that he knew who she was. She wasn’t nearly as famous as her best friend. “Yes, nice to meet you, Killian. I’m kind of surprised you know who I am though.”

Killian smiled. “I make it a point to know everyone I work with, from the cast to the writers to the producers to the crew. We couldn’t do what we do without everyone doing their job to the best of their ability. I think it helps to build community, respect and…trust,” he looked at Emma when he said the last word before finishing, “which helps make the best show possible.”

Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 

Belle smiled. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Killian nodded at her. “Well, I look forward to getting to know you and working with you, Belle.”

“Me too,” Belle said.

With that, Killian continued down the hall.

Emma gestured at him. “See what I mean?”

Belle laughed. “Yeah, what a monster!”

Emma nodded. “I knew you’d agree with me.”

Belle shook her head. “Uh, no, I was being sarcastic. He seems like a nice guy. Pretty charming actually.”

“Are you kidding? It’s all for show. He doesn’t have a genuine bone in his body. You know his reputation. He changes women more often than he changes his underwear.”

Belle shrugged. “Perhaps you should keep an open mind. You hate when people judge you on your reputation. Perhaps you should try to get to know him.”

Emma shook her head. “That’s the last thing I plan on doing.”

…

The director, known simply as Gold, approached Emma and Killian. 

“Okay, dearies, we’re short on time today so we’re rehearsing this scene once and then we’re going straight to shooting. Eva, I want you at your desk. Killian, outside the door. Now, remember, the viewers need to feel sparks between you two right away. They need to believe that Eva can’t resist Tyler, otherwise they won’t be able to understand her cheating on her husband.”

Emma shook her head, saying sharply, “Eva loves Tad. She would never cheat.”

Gold rolled his eyes. “Emma, I realize you are protective of your character and her marriage, but this is what’s happening, so I suggest you get on board.”

Killian grinned at Emma. “Sometimes two people have something intangible, a chemistry between them that can’t be denied.”

Gold nodded, as he slapped Killian on the back. “You’ve got it, mate. Emma, you might want to follow Killian’s lead on this one.”

Emma’s jaw clenched, as Killian’s eyes sparkled at her.

“Places!” Gold yelled. 

Emma sat behind her desk, as Killian walked out of the door and closed it behind him. 

“Action!” Gold screamed.

Killian walked through the door and Emma stood up, then came around the desk.

“Ah, you must be our new model Tyler Harland,” Emma said, as she held her hand out to him.

Killian nodded and shook her hand, making sure to hold it longer than necessary. “And you must be Eva Rollins. I must say, you’re even more beautiful than I expected.”

He moved closer to her, his eyes washing over her face. Emma stepped back, pulling her hand out of his grasp.

“Cut!” Gold said, as he came to stand in front of them. 

“Emma, the directions on the page say that Eva steps closer to Tyler, not away, and she keeps her hand in his. You need to convey her immediate attraction to him.”

“Fine,” she said.

“Pick up from there,” Gold said.

Emma placed her hand in Killian’s and stepped closer to him. She felt her breath catch in her chest at his touch and she could smell his spicy scent. 

“Thank you, Tyler. Now you know I am doing a male line for the first time. It is very important that the male models are able to work closely with me since this is all so new.”

Killian smiled. “It will be my pleasure to work as closely with you as possible.”

“Oh, I think the pleasure will be all mine,” she said. 

Emma shook her head and huffed, looking at Gold. “I’m sorry, but these lines are awful. I feel like this is the beginning of a porno.”

Gold squeezed his eyes closed. “Emma, it’s your job as an actor to convey the lines the best you can, not critique them.”

“I’m not a miracle worker! I can’t spin gold out of straw!” she said.

“You know what? We don’t have time for this. We need to go straight to shooting,” Gold said. 

Emma let out a groan. “Whatever.”

…

After shooting, Emma and Killian walked into their dressing room. He slammed the door shut.

“Bloody hell! That was a disaster!” he said, turning to her with eyes flashing with anger. 

Emma planted her hands on her hips. “We finally agree on something.”

“You don't think I know what you're doing? I'm actually quite perceptive.”

“Oh and what is it you think I'm doing exactly?”

“You were purposely difficult today. You want the producer to change her mind about our characters having an affair and you thought the best way to do that would be to sabotage the scene. Then you'll get your way and you won't have to share the spotlight with me.”

“I can't help it if we don't have any chemistry. Chemistry is a tricky thing. You either have it or your don't.”

Killian stepped closer to her. Oh, we have chemistry, Emma. Combustible chemistry. Perhaps that's what you're really afraid of.”

“Excuse me? What does that mean?”

“Perhaps you're afraid that if you get close to me on-screen then it will spill over off-screen.”

Emma swallowed hard. “That's ridiculous. I am in a very healthy, happy relationship. And, even if I weren't, I would never allow something to happen between us.”

“Like I said, chemistry can be undeniable. Sometimes two people are drawn to each other and there's no way to stop it.”

Emma sucked in a breath. “Ah, now I understand why you change women like you change clothes. You have no willpower. But see that's where we’re different. I have willpower in spades.”

He grinned. “Ah, so let me get this straight. You want me, but you're going to use your abundant willpower to resist me.”

Emma's mouth hung open. She hated how he twisted her words. “That's  
not what I meant.”

“That's how I interpreted it.”

“Well...reinterpret it because you're wrong.”

Killian sat down on his recliner and flipped the TV on. “I'm quite right.”

Emma's nostrils flared and she let out a frustrated sigh before stomping out of the room.

...

She marched down the hallway until she found Belle's dressing room. Emma pounded on the door with her fist.

Belle opened the door. “Easy there. The door is only made of wood.”

Emma brushed past her. “I can't do it. I can't work with that man. I tried. I really did. But I just can't do it.”

Belle shut the door and watched her best friend pace back and forth.

“I was on set, Emma. I saw the whole thing.”

Emma stopped moving. “So then you know what I am talking about. He's  
impossible to work with.”

“Actually, the one I saw being impossible was you.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Emma, you complained about the storyline, you complained about the dialogue. At one point during shooting you even complained Killian was breathing too loudly.”

“Well, he was! It made it very hard to concentrate.”

“My point is he was very easygoing and accommodating on set today. You  
were the one being difficult.”

Emma sighed and flopped down onto Belle's couch. “Okay, so maybe I wasn't the easiest person to work with, but I didn't purposely sabotage the scene like Killian just accused me of.”

Belle chewed on her lower lip. “Fine, if you say so.”

“I didn't! Look, I don't want to work with him but I would never do that.”

“Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously…”

Emma shook her head. “No, I am a professional. Yes, I speak my mind, but I don't try to sabotage scenes on purpose. We just don't mesh well. There's no chemistry between us.”

Belle laughed at that.

“What?”

“Well, I mean that's completely untrue. You may have tried your hardest to hide it today, but you and Killian have chemistry and a lot of it.”

“That's ridiculous. You're mistaking extreme dislike for chemistry.”

Belle smiled. “I've never seen you like this. You're usually so unflappable, but this guy has you all off-kilter.”

Emma dropped her eyes. “I just can't stand him, that's all.”

Belle opened her mouth to reply, but Emma stood up and walked out  
before she could.

...

 

The next afternoon, Killian spotted his old friend Robin eating lunch in the network cafeteria.

“Long time no see, mate,” Killian said, as he sat down across from him.

Robin smiled up at him. “I was wondering when I was going to run into you. Returned from vacation yesterday to find my former cast mate is now on my show.”

Killian and Robin had been costars on “The Fun and the Flirty” until Robin left a few years ago and joined “Love & Lies”, playing a designer who works for Eva on the show. The two had kept in contact with each other. 

“Well, I couldn’t let you have all the fun, now could I?” Killian said.

Robin shrugged. “Of course, now I have competition for sexiest guy on the show, which is rather annoying.”

Killian laughed. “Can’t be helped.”

Robin took a bite of his sandwich and then eyed Killian. “So I heard your first day on set could have gone better yesterday.”

Killian shook his head sharply. “I heard Emma could be difficult to work with, but I never imagined she would be that difficult. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with me and she’s made no secret about it.”

Robin took a sip of his drink and then leaned forward. “Look, Emma and I have become pretty good friends over the last few years. She’s tough, for sure, but it’s because she’s been hurt a lot in her life. She’s had to overcome a great deal, so that’s made her wary of trusting others. She has a tendency to expect the worst of people until they prove her wrong. That hard exterior is her way of protecting herself.”

Killian nodded. He knew there was more to Emma, but she had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want to get to know him on a personal level.

“I attempted to connect with her, but she refused to discuss her personal life.”

“I’m not surprised. Emma lives in constant fear of losing everything she has in life. She sees you as a threat.”

Killian nodded. “I certainly sensed that.”

“Give her time. Show her you can be trusted and she’ll come around,” Robin said.

…

Killian entered their dressing room and found Emma sitting on her couch, reading that day’s script.

“Would you like to run lines?” he asked.

She didn’t even look up. “Do you have amnesia or are you just slow on the uptake? I told you, I don’t work like that.”

Killian stepped forward and pulled the script out of her hands. “What happened yesterday can’t happen again. You may not like me, but I know you like your job and this show. I know you want to do the best job possible, so I suggest we learn to tolerate each other and work together.”

Emma stared at him for a long moment. “Fine,” she said, snatching the script from his hands. “We’ll run lines together.”

Killian smiled triumphantly and retrieved his script. He sat down opposite her on the couch. 

Emma sighed. “Okay, so in the first scene, we have our first fitting. You need to stand up.”

Killian stood and Emma came to stand in front of him. She looked at the script.

It said for her to run her hand down his bicep. Emma took a deep breath. She brought her hand up, running it down his upper arm, enjoying the feel of his toned muscles. 

“Tyler, I must say you really fill this shirt out nicely,” Emma said.

Killian looked down at her. “It’s all in the design, Ms. Rollins.”

“Please, call me Eva,” she said, as her face neared his. 

Killian brought his hand up to touch her face, even though it didn’t call for it in the script. “Eva.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, before Emma shook her head and stepped back from him. Killian’s hand dropped to his side.

She took a deep breath. “That…That wasn’t in the script.”

Killian nodded. “I know, love. The best actors improvise. It felt right in the moment.”

Emma shook her head. “I don’t improvise. I do as the script says. I don’t appreciate surprises.”

Killian smiled and leaned toward her. “Surprises are one of the great joys of life, Emma,” he said.

Emma swallowed hard, his lips tantalizingly close to hers. Just then, they heard a knock on the door.

“You’re both needed on set,” an intern announced. 

Emma dropped her eyes and walked past him. “We need to go.”

…  
End of Part 2  
Thanks for reading! ~Steph


	3. Part 3

…Love & Lies: Part 3/11…

Killian entered the dressing room the following day and found Emma on her couch, reading the script.

“You’re late,” she said without looking up.

He glanced down at his watch. “Two minutes late.”

Emma shrugged. “You’re the one who insisted on us running lines. If you’re not going to take it seriously then-…

Killian held a bag up to her. “I’m late because I stopped to get you this.”

Emma stared at him for a long moment and then hesitantly took the bag. “Oh…thanks.”

She looked inside. It had a chocolate chip muffin and a cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon in it.

She looked up at him. “How did you know these were my favorite?”

He shrugged. “I pay attention. I spot you over at Kraft services every morning getting them. I stopped at this bakery by my house this morning. I thought they might make a better muffin.”

Emma nodded. “Wow, that was uncharacteristically thoughtful of you.”

Killian shook his head. “A simple thank you would have sufficed.”

“I said thank you.”

“True, but you felt the need to follow it up with an insult.”

Emma let out a huff and put the bag on the table. “Forget it. Let’s run our lines before we have to get to set.”

Killian sat down next to her. “I think we should practice the kiss first,” he said.

“Excuse me?” she said.

“Our first kiss. I mean, Eva and Tyler’s first kiss. We don’t want it to look awkward. We must convey their undeniable attraction.”

Emma swallowed hard, as he scooted closer to her. “I...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

Emma searched her brain for some reason that would make sense. “Because I think it needs to look spontaneous. It can’t seem like my character has been planning to do this. She is married after all. It just needs to happen.”

Killian nodded, his eyes scanning her face as she refused to meet his gaze. “As you wish.”

…

 

Emma and Killian took their places in Eva’s office, as Gold approached them.

“Alright, dearies, this is an important scene. There’s no turning back for Eva after this. Unfortunately, we’re running late again, so we don’t have time for rehearsal. We’re going straight to shooting.”

Emma and Killian nodded, their eyes meeting. Emma flashed back to their dressing room where they had rehearsed the scene. She hadn’t been able to kiss him in the privacy of their dressing room for a reason. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to stop herself. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to separate herself from her character. 

“Action!”

Emma turned away from Killian and moved to her desk, sitting on the edge.

“I was very impressed with your photo shoot today, Tyler. I think you really sold the clothes.”

Killian came to stand in front of her. “The clothes certainly aren’t hard to sell.”

Emma reached up, running her hand over his shirt and the tight muscles of his chest. She kept going until she reached his tie and then yanked it, pulling him down towards her. 

“There’s only problem with these clothes,” she said.

“What’s that?” Killian asked, licking at his lips.

“They’re preventing me from getting to what I want,” she breathed.

Emma pulled him closer to her, his lips an inch away from hers. The script called for her to kiss him, but instead Emma scrunched up her nose and then pushed him away.

“Your breath reeks!” she said, shaking her head.

“Bloody hell, Emma! What the devil is your problem?” Killian said.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Gold muttered. “Cut!”

Emma glared at Killian. “I am not kissing you smelling like that. What did you have for breakfast after we ran our lines?”

Killian shrugged. “Onion bagel with lox.”

Emma raised her brow. “Are you kidding? You knew we had to do our first kissing scene today and you chose to eat fish and onions right before? What is wrong with you?”

“I had a craving.”

“A craving? Would you like a garlic clove to suck on too?”

Gold approached them. “Emma, just kiss the man so we can move on please.”

Emma shook her head. “He needs some breath spray and to eat 2...or 200 hundred mints…and then I’ll consider kissing him.”

Gold rolled his eyes. “Will someone please get me some breath spray and a roll of breath mints?”

One of the interns hurried over to Gold, handing him the breath spray and mints. He, in turn, handed them over to Killian. 

Killian rolled his eyes at Emma, as he popped a bunch of mints in his mouth. He chomped on the mints until they were gone and then squirted the breath spray into his mouth. 

Emma took her spot back at her desk, as Gold returned to his chair. Killian walked up to Emma, getting close to her face.

He let out a little puff of air at her. “Does the lady approve?”

Emma tried not to stare at his lips. “It’ll do.”

“Take it from grabbing his tie,” Gold instructed.

Emma grabbed Killian’s tie and pulled him towards her. 

“There’s only problem with these clothes,” she repeated.

“What’s that?” Killian asked.

“They’re preventing me from getting to what I want,” she said.

Emma brought her lips close to Killian’s. She watched his eyes scan hers, before she crashed her lips into his. To say they both felt electricity would be an understatement. Killian moved between Emma’s legs and grabbed her waist, pulling her body close to his. Emma shoved her tongue into Killian’s mouth. 

There was an unwritten rule on soaps that you don’t use tongue when kissing. The network gets upset if they see tongue since it’s daytime and they have the censors to worry about. But Emma didn’t care in that moment. She just wanted to feel him.

Killian was surprised by the feel of Emma’s tongue sliding against his, but eagerly responded with his own. Emma’s hand moved to grip the hair at the nape of his neck, as she nipped at his lower lip with her teeth.

“Cut! Okay, great, got it,” Gold said, apparently missing the tongue action. 

Emma and Killian were so caught up in each other that they didn’t hear Gold yell cut. Killian ran his tongue along Emma’s lips before diving back in.

“Cut! I said cut!” Gold yelled. 

Emma felt her heart racing and she was struggling to breathe. She knew this was completely unprofessional, but she couldn’t help herself. Killian was feeling much the same way.

They finally parted in order to breathe, not because they heard Gold yelling cut. Their foreheads remained touching for a moment, their gazes holding, as they processed what had just happened. They suddenly became aware of their surroundings.

Gold marched up to them. “What the devil was that? I yelled cut and you just kept going!”

Killian stepped back, reluctantly breaking contact with Emma. He ran his fingertips across his lips. He finally shook his head.

“Apologies, just got caught up for a moment,” he said.

Emma nodded, her cheeks reddening. “Sorry.”

Gold simply shook his head and walked off set without another word.

Killian opened his mouth to say something, but Emma dropped her eyes. 

“Don’t,” she whispered.

When she lifted her eyes, she saw August standing just off set. From the look on his face, it was clear he had witnessed the entire thing.

Emma tried to move past Killian, but his hand on her waist stopped her.

“We need to talk about this,” he said softly.

Emma shook her head. “I have to go.”

Emma walked toward August, as Killian’s eyes followed her.

…

August didn’t say a word to her all the way back to his dressing room. He entered and then slammed the door shut behind her.

“Please say something,” she said. “You know I hate this silent rage thing you do.”

August stared daggers at her. “You know what I hate? Watching my girlfriend making out on stage with her costar.”

“It’s called acting,” she replied weakly.

August shook his head. “No, that wasn’t acting.”

“We just got caught up in the moment for a second. It happens,” she replied.

“Really? It does? Because you and I have been together off screen for five years and onscreen for three, two of which we’ve been married, and that’s never once happened to us. If it would happen to anyone, you would think it would happen to a couple that is in a relationship and has real feelings for each other.”

Emma dropped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

August waited a few moments before speaking, his voice lowering, “Do you have feelings for him?”

Emma’s head shot up. “Are you serious right now? He drives me crazy. You know that.”

“Many a great love story has started with two people driving each other crazy, Emma.”

Emma swallowed hard and came close to him, putting her arms around his neck. “Why would I want him when I have you?” she asked.

August let out a sigh. “Okay,” he replied softly. 

He stared at her for a long moment, before placing a kiss to her cheek and pulling her to him in a hug.

Emma stared straight ahead, as she put her head on his shoulder, her mind still reeling from that kiss. Her tongue darted out and flicked at her lips. She could still taste him. 

Emma squeezed her eyes closed. What the hell was wrong with her?

…

 

A few hours later, Emma entered her dressing room, hoping that Killian would be gone by now.

“I was wondering when you were going to grace me with your presence,” he said the moment she walked in.

He was lying on her couch, tomorrow’s script in his hands. 

She waved her hand at him, saying simply, “Off.”

Killian sat up, but didn’t move off the couch. Emma sighed as she came to sit down next to him. 

“Are you ready to talk?” he asked.

“About what?”

He smirked. “Don’t play dumb, Emma. It doesn’t become you.”

“Look, what happened out there was a mistake. We got caught up in the moment because we were trying to sell the scene.”

Killian tilted his head at her. 

“What?” she asked, her face growing red.

“I can’t tell if you’re just lying to me or to yourself too.”

“I’m not lying at all,” she said sharply. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“Did your boyfriend believe you when you told him that?”

Emma moved her eyes to her lap. “I’ve told you before. My personal life is not your business.”

“Emma, I’ve been doing this for over ten years now. I’ve kissed many a woman.”

“I bet,” she muttered.

“On set,” he clarified. “And never, not once, has that ever happened. We didn’t even hear Gold yell cut.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she said, as she moved to get up.

“There’s something between us, Emma. You can deny it all you want, but that won’t change the truth.”

Emma met his eyes, her jaw clenched. “I have a boyfriend. He is a good man. I would never hurt him like that.”

“So this is about not wanting to hurt August? And how do you think he’s going to feel when he realizes his girlfriend of five years has feelings for another man but refuses to be honest with him? That is, if he hasn’t already realized it.”

Emma shook her head sharply. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

She then turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Killian sank back into the couch.

…

“Whoa, slow down,” Belle said, as she watched her best friend down her second martini in less than ten minutes. 

“I wish people would stop telling me what to do,” Emma said.

They were at their favorite bar in L.A.

“I assume your current mood has something to do with a certain British hunk.”

Emma squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed at her temple. “Please don’t mention him to me right now.”

“I also assume your current mood has something to with what happened between you two on set today.”

Emma’s eyes flew open. “You know about that?”

“Emma, everyone knows about it. It’s all anyone could talk about for the rest of the day.”

Emma dropped her head onto the table. “This is a disaster.”

Belle reached out and covered Emma’s hand with hers. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Emma sighed and lifted her head. “I lost control. We started kissing and all of the sudden it wasn’t Eva kissing Tyler it was me kissing Killian. And it felt so good, I couldn’t stop myself. Neither one of us even heard Gold yell cut.”

“Wow. Do you have feelings for him, Emma?”

Emma’s eyes widened. “Why does everyone keep saying that? I can barely tolerate the man.”

“You’re a professional. You’ve been doing this for sixteen years. I’ve never once seen you lose control like that, not even with August. What’s your explanation for it then?”

Emma sighed. “Okay, so maybe I’m attracted to him a little. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Just look at him. But that’s where it ends.”

“How did August react?”

Emma groaned. “He asked me the same thing you just did.”

Belle nodded. “I see. I wonder if he believed you more than I do.”

Emma glared at her best friend. “You know, you’re supposed to be helping me feel better, not making it worse.”

Belle shrugged. “Sorry, but I’m not the kind of best friend who just tells you what you want to hear.”

“Okay, so where can I find that kind of best of friend then?” Emma asked.

Belle laughed. Her laugh quickly subsided though as her eyes landed on two figures entering the bar.

“Uh oh, don’t look now,” she said.

“What?” Emma asked, as she followed Belle’s gaze. Her eyes landed on Robin and Killian, as they took a spot at the bar. 

Emma placed her hands over her face. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Could this day get any worse?”

…

 

Robin downed his Scotch, as he watched Killian staring at his rum like it held the answer to the meaning of life.

“What’s the matter, mate?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Killian said as he finally took a sip.

“Ah, so this preoccupation of yours has nothing to do with a certain blonde lass then?”

Killian sighed in defeat. “Is it that obvious?”

“Well, yes, but I also heard about what happened on set today. Everyone did.”

“Bloody hell,” Killian said, as he downed his rum.

“I’ve known you for a long time, Killian, but I’ve never seen you like this. You don’t usually let a woman get to you.”

“Emma’s different,” he said softly.

“She’s got a boyfriend, mate.”

“I know and I also know that the woman kissing me on set today didn’t act like she had a boyfriend. What can you tell me about them?”

Robin shrugged. “August treats her like a princess. Emma has always seemed rather disinterested in him, like she’s only with him because he was a safe choice.”

“Safe choice?”

“Aye. He won’t break her heart.”

“He told me he’s asked her to marry him and move in with him multiple times, but she’s always refused. Why do you think that is?”

Robin took a swig of his drink. “I think she knows he’s not right for her, but she doesn’t know how to break it off, so she keeps leading him on. August is a good man and he truly loves Emma. He believes one day she’ll be ready to take the next step with him.” Robin paused for a moment. “You said Emma’s different. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never been with the same woman twice. You take what you want and move on.”

“You make me sound awful.”

“I know you have your reasons for not seeking a relationship with a woman.”

“Aye, that I do.”

“So then what’s different about this woman? What’s different about Emma?”

“Who said I want a relationship with her?”

Robin laughed heartily. “It’s written all over your face. Plus, most men who are only interested in a woman for sex don’t care about her relationship with her boyfriend.”

Killian shook his head. “You know what? None of this matters anyway. She drives me mad most of the time. And she can’t stand me.”

Robin looked over Killian’s shoulder and gestured. “Is that why she can’t take her eyes off of you right now?”

“What?” Killian said, his brow furrowing.

Robin gestured again and Killian whipped his head around, his eyes meeting Emma’s.

“Bloody hell,” he whispered. 

Emma turned her head toward Belle. “Damn. They saw us. Don’t look.”

Belle brought her hand up and waved at them. “Hey guys!”

“What are you doing?” Emma asked through clenched teeth.

“Emma, we work with them and they already saw us. We can’t just act like we didn’t see them. It would be rude.”

“So?”

Robin made a move to get up, but Killian’s hand on his arm stopped him. “What the devil do you think you’re doing?”

Robin nodded at the women. “I’m going to say hello. Where are you manners, mate?”

Robin made his way over and Killian sighed heavily before following him.

“Great!” Emma muttered. “They’re coming over. Look what you did.”

Belle smiled at Robin and Killian as they came to stand in front of them.

“Why don’t you guys join us?” she said, as Emma threw her an icy glare.

“We’d love to,” Robin said, pulling a chair out and then reaching up and grabbing Killian’s arm to get him to sit too. 

Killian sat down next to Emma, trying to avoid her gaze.

“So, Killian,” Belle began, “How do you like working on ‘Love & Lies’ so far?”

“I’m quite enjoying myself. Most everyone has been very welcoming.”

Killian shot Emma a look at that one. 

“Glad to have him on the show,” Robin said with a slap to his back. “We’ve been mates for a while now.”

“Lucky you,” Emma mumbled.

Just then, Belle and Robin’s phones buzzed at the same time.

Belle sighed. “My call time just got moved up to 6 am. Looks like I’m going to have to call it an evening.”

“Same here,” Robin said. “Ah, the life of a soap star.” He turned to Belle. “Share a cab?”

“Sure,” Belle said.

Emma stood up quickly. “I’ll go with you. I’m tired anyway.”

Belle waved her hand at her, giving her a pointed look. “No, stay and finish your drink. Enjoy yourself. You and Killian can get to know each other better.”

Emma slowly sat back down. 

Killian smiled slightly. “I’ll make sure she gets home safely.”

“Great,” Belle said as she and Robin turned to leave. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“See you tomorrow,” Robin said, ignoring the irritated look Killian gave him. 

Once Belle and Robin were out of earshot, Emma threw Killian a look. “I don’t need you to baby-sit me. I am a grown woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.”

“I am sure you can, but I’m a gentleman and I believe in good form. And that means I always make sure the lady in my company gets home safely.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure you do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it’s no secret that any woman that goes out with Killian Jones ends up in bed with him.”

“I enjoy the company of women. I won’t apologize for that.”

Emma took a sip of her third martini. She didn’t usually drink much and she hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast, so she was really beginning to feel the effects. 

She leaned toward him, his lips suddenly distracting her as she recalled how they felt against hers. 

“Why are you like this?” she asked, her speech slightly slurred.

Killian licked at his lips nervously. “I thought you didn’t want to know anything about me.”

“I’ll make an exception just this once. So have you ever been in a relationship? Ever been in love?”

Killian nodded, his eyes focused on the table. “Once, long ago. I got my heart broken.”

Emma’s brow arched in surprise. “What happened?”

Killian sucked in a breath. “Her name was Milah and we attended university together. We were 19 years old. We attended a party at a friend’s house and on the way home, a drunk driver crossed over into our lane. I attempted to swerve, but I was too late. We were hit head-on. I suffered a few broken ribs and a concussion. Milah was killed on impact.”

Emma’s mouth hung open, as she stared at him in shock. It was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth. Her hand reached out and covered his. He was surprised by her touch.

“Oh, my God. I am so sorry,” she said.

“It was a long time ago. That’s when I decided to come to the states to finish school. I blamed myself. She didn’t want to go that night, but I begged her to come with me. I couldn’t escape my guilt or her. There were too many memories of Milah there, so I left.”

“I…I don’t know what to say.” Emma paused for a long moment, her eyes sweeping across his face. 

“I’ve never told anyone about the terrible guilt I felt over her death before,” he said softly.

Their eyes met and held for a long moment. For the first time, she saw him as more than a womanizer with a pretty face.

“So after that you decided to swear off relationships?” she asked.

He nodded. “Aye. I’m a man and I have needs, so I knew that I could not give up women entirely. But I swore I would never risk my heart again. I am always upfront with every woman I’m with. They know from the outset that things will never go any further between us.”

“I feel sorry for you,” she whispered.

“Why?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Because love can be wonderful,” she said.

“You mean like what you and August have?” he asked.

Emma dropped her eyes. “I was speaking in general terms.”

“I don’t think you and I are that different, love,” he said.

“Excuse me?” she replied, nearly spitting her martini out.

“You’ve had your heart broken too. I can see that. But instead of running away like I have, you’ve settled for a man who can never break your heart because he’s never had it to begin with.”

Emma felt her jaw clench. “Why did you have to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Ruin the moment. For a second, I actually thought you might be a halfway decent guy.”

“Emma.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Killian.”

“You’ve made damn sure of that!” he snapped.

Emma stood up. “I’ll see myself home, thank you. But you’re welcome to pay my check. Make sure you leave a generous tip. You can afford it.”

Killian watched as she marched to the door. He threw some money down on the table and then followed her outside.

“Let me see you home,” he said, when he found her standing on the curb trying to wave a cab down.

“If you think that just because I have a few drinks in me that I’ll be another notch on your bedpost, then think again.”

Killian’s eyes flashed with hurt. “Is that really what you think of me? You think I would take advantage of you?”

Emma’s expression softened. “No, I’m sorry.”

Just then a cab pulled up. Killian opened the door and gestured to her. “After you.”

Emma took a deep breath, slid into the cab, and then watched as he slipped in beside her.

…  
End of Part 3  
Thanks for reading! If you could take a second and let me know what you thought, I'd really appreciate it. ~Steph


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Thanks for the responses to the last part and my one-shot Pieces of You! Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 4/11…

 

Killian and Emma sat in awkward silence the entire way to her house. Once there, they got out and he walked her to her door.

Emma gestured to her house. “Well, this is me. Home safe and sound. Your duty is done.”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

Her brow raised. “Why?”

“I’d like to see your home.”

She sighed. “I told you, nothing is going to happen between us.”

The truth was, Killian knew nothing would happen between them, but he didn’t want the night to end.

“I know. You’ve made that clear. I have a code when it comes to the women I’m with, Emma. I don’t pursue another man’s woman unless she wants to be pursued.”

Emma chuckled. “Well, aren’t you just a prince.”

His voice softened. “Maybe I’m just enjoying spending time with you outside of work and I don’t want it to end.”

Emma sucked in a breath. She had to admit she was enjoying getting to know him too, but she wasn’t sure she would be able to resist him if he came inside.

“One cup of coffee,” he said. “And then I’ll go. I promise.”

“Fine,” Emma agreed, as she unlocked the door.

Killian followed behind her, nodding his approval at the Spanish style home. “Your home is beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

Emma walked into the kitchen and Killian took a seat at the large granite island.

“How do you like your coffee?” she asked, as she put a pot on.

“Just black.”

A few minutes later, Emma handed him the mug of coffee and then went into the living room. She kicked off her heels and sat down on the couch with her own cup of coffee. Killian sat down beside her.

He took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. 

“Too strong?” she asked.

Killian shook his head. “No, it’s just the most dreadful cup of coffee I’ve ever had.”

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re British. You know tea. What do you know about coffee?”

Killian moved closer to her, his eyes staring into hers. “I know what I like, Emma.”

Emma felt her breath catch in her chest at his closeness. She put her mug down on the coffee table and reached for the remote. She flipped the TV on and then scooted away from him, planting herself in the corner of the couch. 

Killian licked at his lips, as he continued to drink the coffee.

Emma stared at the TV. “You don’t have to drink it, you know.”

“You took the time to make it for me, so I’m going to drink it.”

Killian took his time sipping the awful liquid, as he stared in silence at some infomercial on the screen. His eyes moved from the TV to scan the living room. She had very few personal items. There weren’t any family photos. No pictures of her and August together. The only photo he did see was one of her and Belle.

“I don’t see any photos of your family. Are you close?”

Emma’s jaw clenched. “Belle is like family to me.”

Killian sighed. “Bloody hell, Emma. You made an exception to let me share some of my personal history with you. Can’t you make the same exception to share a little of your personal history with me?”

Emma met his eyes. She could see he was sincere. He was genuinely interested in getting to know her. It wasn’t a ploy to get her into bed.

“My parents abandoned me when I was a baby. I grew up in foster care,” she replied softly. 

Killian’s eyes grew wide in surprise. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“I don’t like to talk about it,” she said, making clear the discussion would end there. 

He nodded. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m glad you found someone like Belle to fill that hole in your life.”

Emma returned her eyes to the television. “It’s not a hole that ever gets filled. You just learn to live with it.”

Killian stared at her for a long moment. He knew there was a lot more to Emma Swan than he originally thought. 

He turned his eyes back to the television, as they sat in an uncomfortable silence. After a few moments, he heard a sound come from his right. He turned to look and found Emma’s head resting on the arm of the couch, as she snored quite loudly.

He smiled, amazed that something so loud and unbecoming could come from someone so beautiful. He set the mug down on the table and pulled the afghan from the back of the couch. 

He placed it over her and then whispered, “Sweet dreams, Emma.”

He then stood up and walked out.

…

Emma felt the sun on her face and then a wicked headache the moment she opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, realizing she was still on the couch and still wearing her clothes from the night before. She noticed the afghan covering her and smiled, realizing Killian must have covered her before he left.

Emma was startled by the doorbell and a pounding at the door. She squeezed her eyes closed. Her head was throbbing and the noise was not helping. 

She walked to the door and opened it, surprised to find August standing behind it.

Her brow furrowed, as she patted at her unruly hair and squinted at the bright sun. “August? What are you doing here?”

His eyes scanned her. “What am I doing here? We were supposed to meet for breakfast an hour ago. You didn’t answer your phone, so I was worried something had happened to you.”

“Oh, sorry,” she said, allowing him inside and closing the door behind him.

He walked into the living room, noticing her appearance, the heels in the middle of the room, the TV on, the afghan crumpled on the couch, and the two mugs on the table.

“What’s going on, Emma? Why are you still wearing your clothes from last night?”

Emma bit at her lower lip nervously. “Well, I was with Belle at the bar last night and then Robin and Killian showed up. I had a little too much to drink and Robin and Belle had to leave early so Killian saw me home.”

August’s jaw tightened. “He was here with you.”

“He had a cup of coffee, I fell asleep, and he left,” she said.

“And that’s it?” he asked.

“Of course,” Emma said. “Nothing happened, August. He was actually a gentleman for once.”

August nodded. “Well, I suppose that’s good to hear. I’m glad he saw you home safely.”

“I made it clear to him nothing would happen between us.”

“I hope the message was received.”

“He said he had a code. He doesn’t pursue another man’s woman unless she wants to be pursued.”

“Am I supposed to find that comforting?” he asked sharply.

Emma smiled and placed a kiss to his lips. “It doesn’t matter because you have nothing to worry about. Sure, I may have seen another side to him last night and got some insight into why he is the way he is, but I’m sure he’ll be driving me up the wall again in no time at all.”

August took a step back from her. “You know, for someone who claims not to be able to stand the man, you sure do talk about him a lot.”

“What?”

“Everyday since he came onto the show all I’ve heard is Killian did this, Killian did that.”

“Yes, because he annoys the hell out of me.”

“Does he really, Emma? Or do you secretly enjoy the attention he gives you? Do you like that spark you get from sparring with him?”

Emma’s mouth hung open. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You never argue with me, Emma. You just agree with whatever I say. And I know the last thing you are is a doormat, so I’ve always wondered why.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “Let me get this straight. You’re upset because I don’t fight with you?”

August sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No, I’m upset because you don’t care enough to fight with me.”

“So we’re fighting about not fighting right now? This is the most ridiculous argument I’ve ever been a part of.”

He shook his head. “You don’t get it. When it comes to me, there’s no passion from you. You’re passionate about your work. You’ll fight to the death for your character or for a storyline. And I see the passion in your eyes every time you talk about Killian. But with me, there’s nothing.”

Emma felt her throat begin to burn. “You’re easygoing. I like that you balance me out. I don’t feel the need to fight with you and I think that’s a good thing. I don’t know what you want from me, August.”

August dropped his eyes. “I want you to care more about me and our relationship than you do your job and the man you claim you can’t stand.”

With that, August turned on his heel and walked out the door.

Emma stood rooted to her spot, wondering what had just happened.

…

Emma hid behind her sunglasses as she entered her dressing room. Luckily, she had an early afternoon call time. 

“Good afternoon,” Killian greeted her.

Emma brought a hand up to her head. “Why are you shouting?”

“Appears someone can’t hold her alcohol.”

“I don’t usually drink that much and it was on an empty stomach,” she said, as she stumbled to the couch. 

“Well, love, you better pull yourself together quickly. We’re needed on set in a half hour.”

He held a Styrofoam container up to her. 

“Grilled cheese and onion rings. Your favorite. Just what a hangover calls for.”

Killian made it a point to notice things about Emma. She revealed so little about herself to him that he knew it was the only way to get to know her. 

Emma waved her hand at him and didn’t take the container. “Stop.”

“Stop what?” he asked, his brow wrinkling in confusion.

“Stop being nice to me. Stop bringing me my favorite foods, and seeing me home safely, and covering me with an afghan. Just stop.”

“Isn’t that what friends do?”

“We’re not friends.”

Killian sucked in a breath. “My apologies. I was hoping we had turned a corner last night, but perhaps I was mistaken.”

“You were,” she spat out. “August showed up at my house this morning looking for me because I was late for our breakfast date. He found me in my clothes from last night and I had to explain what happened.”

“I assume you told him nothing happened between us.”

“I did and then he proceeded to make ridiculous statements like I don’t care enough about our relationship to fight with him and that I am not passionate about us.”

Killian dropped his eyes.

“What?” she snapped.

“I think he hit the nail on the head, Emma.”

Emma’s eyes flared and she stood up abruptly. “I should have known better than to let my guard down with you last night. You told me about Milah and I thought that maybe I had misjudged you, but I see now that this was all a part of your plan.”

“My plan? What in bloody hell are you talking about?”

“You wanted me to see you as this broken guy who’s been unfairly judged all of these years.”

Killian gritted his teeth. “I told you the truth, Emma. I’ve never told another woman that before.”

She dropped her eyes. “Whether it was the truth or not, doesn’t matter. You’re interfering in my relationship now. I was right to want to keep things purely professional between us.”

Killian stepped closer to her. “That’s not what this is about. You’ve been attracted to me from the start and you couldn’t hide it anymore when we kissed on set. But you told yourself that it didn’t matter because that’s all it was. It was just an attraction. There could never be any real feelings there. But then last night you let yourself feel something for me and it scared the hell out of you.”

Emma shook her head. “Believe what you want. Even if I did, it doesn’t matter, does it? I have a boyfriend and you don’t do relationships. You won’t risk your heart, remember?”

Killian felt his heart beating wildly. He had never felt like this before. No woman, not even Milah, had ever evoked such feelings in him. 

He came so close to her she could feel his breath on her skin. Killian brought his hand up to caress her face. 

“Maybe I’ve just been waiting for the right woman to risk it for,” he said softly.

Emma swallowed hard and stepped back from him, breaking contact. 

“I need you to leave.”

Killian sighed loudly. It was a huge step for him to admit that he wanted a relationship with a woman. And not just any woman, but her. It felt like a knife to the heart to have her reject him. 

He felt his chest begin to tighten and he barely got the words out. “This is my dressing room too.”

Emma blinked back tears. “Please, just go.”

Killian dropped his head, as he spun around and left the room. Emma moved to the couch and placed her hands over her face, as she felt her tears come in full force.

No man had ever stirred feelings in her like Killian Jones.

…

A half hour later, Emma had managed to pull herself together. She arrived on set, but stopped in her tracks when she spotted Killian talking to one of the women who played a model on the show. Her name was Fiona. She watched as Fiona handed her phone to Killian and he punched his number in. He then offered her a grin, his hand brushing her arm. Emma felt her fists clench.

“Careful, you’re turning green,” she heard in her ear.

Emma turned around to face Belle. “What?”

“Jealousy. It was written all over your face,” Belle said.

“That’s ridiculous. And I’m still mad at you for ditching me, by the way.”

“I had to get up early.”

“Yes, but you didn’t have to insist I stay with Killian.”

“Why? Did something happen?” Belle asked.

Emma nodded, her voice softening. “Yes, the worst possible thing. I saw him as more than a womanizer. I saw the man beneath the carefully crafted facade.”

“Why is that a bad thing?”

“Because I was having a hard enough time resisting him when I thought it was just an attraction.”

“I told you it was more, Emma.”

“I know you did. And, to make matters worse, things are all weird with August now.”

“What happened with him?”

“He thinks I don’t have any passion for him or our relationship.”

Belle dropped her gaze.

Emma’s eyes widened. “Do you believe that too?”

“Do you love him, Emma?” Belle asked. 

“We’ve been together for five years. He treats me well and we get along great. I care for him a lot.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Emma lowered her eyes, but didn’t respond. 

Belle shrugged. “Emma, you have to admit that there has never been any spark between you two. August is a nice guy and he loves you, but you’re with him because he’s safe. There’s no danger of getting your heart broken because you know you’ll never be in love with him.”

“I can’t believe I’m the only one who didn’t realize I was doing that all this time,” Emma replied softly. 

Belle rubbed her arm comfortingly. “No one blames you, Emma. You’ve been through a lot. It’s understandable that you would be afraid to open your heart again.”

“I guess Killian and I have that in common. He swore off relationships when his girlfriend was killed in an accident.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, it is. I guess we’ve both been hiding for a long time.”

Belle nodded. “Emma, you’ve been with August five years and you’ve refused to live with him and marry him. What does that tell you? August deserves to be with a woman who can give herself to him completely, who will love him the way he loves her. If you can’t do that, then you need to let him go.”

Emma nodded. This wasn’t fair to any of them. She had been scared for too long and all it had gotten her was lonely nights. Even with August, she always felt alone. 

Killian was willing to take a risk on her. She knew it was time she took a risk too. She knew it was time she took a risk on him. 

Emma slowly bobbed her head. “You’re right. This isn’t fair to August.”

“Especially when you have feelings for someone else,” Belle said.

Emma inhaled deeply. “I need to talk to Killian.”

Belle smiled and took her hand. She squeezed it. “I’m proud of you.”

Emma managed a weak smile, before walking over to Killian, who was still flirting with the model. 

“Can we talk for a second?” she asked him.

“I’m a little busy,” he replied, purposely not looking at her.

“It’s important,” she said.

“Will you excuse me?” Killian said to Fiona.

“Of course,” she replied.

Killian followed Emma to a corner of the set. “What’s so important?” he snapped.

Emma almost lost her nerve when she heard his tone and noticed the cold look in his eyes.

She nervously licked at her lips. “I…I wanted to apologize. You were right about everything you said earlier. I’m…I’m going to break it off with August.”

Emma let out a sigh of relief as the words left her lips.

Killian nodded, his expression remaining stoic. “You should do what’s best for you.”

“That’s it?” she asked, her brow lifting in surprise and confusion.

“What do you expect me to say, Emma?”

Emma took a deep breath. “Killian, I’m saying that you were right about what’s between us. It’s more than an attraction. This isn’t easy for me, but….I’d like to see where this goes. I’d like to see what we can become.”

Emma felt her heart racing as she stood there waiting for his response. She felt like she had just handed him her heart after so many years of hiding it away. 

He shook his head, his eyes not meeting hers. “I don’t think that would be wise.”

Emma’s felt her heart drop into her stomach. “What? Thirty minutes ago, you stood in front of me and said that maybe you’ve just been waiting for the right woman to risk your heart for.” 

Killian nodded, his voice emerging softly, as he met her eyes. “Well, maybe I need to keep waiting.”

Emma’s mouth fell open. “What? I don’t understand.”

Killian shook his head. “I can’t risk my heart for a woman I know will break it.”

Emma sucked in a ragged breath, as he dropped his eyes again. She felt like she was in a nightmare. This couldn’t be happening. Not after she finally decided to risk her heart again. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a scene to do and then a date to get ready for,” he said.

Emma’s shock turned to anger. She knew she had made a mistake taking a chance on him. 

Her eyes flared, as she pointed at Fiona. “Her? You’re going out with her?”

“Please keep your voice down,” Killian said.

She shook her head. “No, I will do no such thing. I should have known you weren’t serious about changing. And you obviously don’t have very high standards. My bra size is bigger than her IQ and I have shoes older than her.”

“Maybe so,” he whispered, as all eyes turned to them. “But at least she doesn’t jerk people around and stomp on their feelings.”

Emma stood there in shock as he walked away from her. Belle watched the scene unfold and came to stand in front of her best friend.

“What happened?”

“He doesn’t want to be with me,” Emma said softly.

Belle shook her head. “I don’t believe that, Emma. I see the way he looks at you.”

“He said he can’t be with a woman he knows will break his heart.”

Belle touched her arm. “You just need to give him some time.”

Emma scoffed, as she gestured at Fiona. “Time to do what? Sleep with yet another woman? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there’s nothing more to him.”

“I don’t believe that. You need to remember that he’s been hurt too. He was scared to risk his heart again and you confirmed his fears when you shot him down after he admitted he wanted to take a chance on you. Talk to him, Emma. Tell him about your past so he understands how you became the woman you are today. Help him understand how difficult this is for you and what a big risk it is.”

“I don’t think he’s interested in listening to what I have to say,” she said, as she watched Fiona and Killian laughing in the corner of her eye.

“Just give him some time to cool down,” Belle said. She paused and then added. “I know this is difficult, Emma, but you still need to end things with August.”

Emma shook her head firmly. “No, it was a mistake to think Killian and I could have something more. I see that now.”

“Emma.”

“August is the man I belong with. He loves me. And maybe there’s no passion, but there’s stability and security and a comfort level. That’s what I want. That’s what I need,” she responded, as she fought back tears. 

“Emma, please, think about this. That’s not fair to you or August. Or Killian, for that matter,” Belle pleaded.

But Emma simply shook her head and walked off set.

…  
End of Part 4  
Thanks for reading! I’d appreciate any feedback you’d like to give! ~Steph


	5. Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part. Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 5/11...

 

Emma took a deep breath as she knocked on August's dressing room door. When he opened it, she walked right past him.

“About earlier,” she began.

“I was actually just coming to see you. I wanted to apologize.”

“You wanted to apologize?” she asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion.

“Yes, I was wrong to accuse you of not caring about our relationship. I don't want to fight with you, Emma. I don't think that makes for a healthy relationship and I'm sorry for suggesting that it does. My parents fought all of the time when I was a kid. But instead of getting a divorce, they just stopped talking altogether. They are never in the same room. And if they do end up in the same room for more than 30 seconds then it always ends up in a fight. I don't want that for us.”

“Neither do I.”

“I like what we have, Emma. I don't want to lose you.”

He pulled her into his arms. Emma opened her mouth to return the sentiment, but couldn’t form the words.

...

The Daytime Emmy's were two weeks later and Emma was in her limo on her way there. She sat lost in thought the entire way, never even speaking to August who sat beside her.

There were a number of reasons Emma didn't want to go to the awards show. The primary reason was that she had lost 10 times. People were beginning to make Susan Lucci jokes about her. 

She also didn't have any desire to see Killian. She had done a great job of avoiding him off set for two weeks now and things were very tense between them on set. She figured he was probably a shoe-in for his fourth Emmy for his role on his former soap. She wasn't sure she could stand watching him kiss that prepubescent nit wit model, Fiona, once his name was announced.

Emma sighed heavily as she realized that her limo had just pulled up to the red carpet. She plastered on a smile and slipped her hand into August’s as she exited the limo and was greeted by a barrage of camera flashes.

After an excruciating red carpet, during which she constantly had to answer questions about the incredible chemistry she had with Killian, she finally made her way inside to her seat. 

Emma groaned when she realized she had been seated right next to Killian. He looked up as she entered the row, his eyes washing over her beautiful figure. Her blonde hair flowed around her shoulders in waves and she wore a red dress that hugged every curve. She took his breath away.

“Do you mind?” she said to him.

“What?” he asked.

“My seat is next to you. I can't get by.”

“Oh, sorry,” he replied, standing so she could pass.

Emma sat down and then glanced over at the empty seat on his other  
side.

“Where's Fiona? Past her bedtime?”

Killian felt his jaw clench. Fiona was a perfectly nice girl, but she was simply a pretty distraction. She only served one purpose: to help him forget about Emma. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t working. He couldn’t get Emma off his mind.

“Ladies’ room. Where's August?” he responded.

“Men's room.”

They fell into an awkward silence then until he finally broke it.

“Good luck tonight,” he said sincerely.

Emma was a little surprised that he had spoken to her with such warmth and sincerity given their current relationship. She wondered if maybe in time they could figure out a way to be friends. 

“Thank you. You too. Although I think I should dust off my gracious losing face. I doubt my luck will change tonight.”

Killian shook his head. “I don't believe that. You deserve to win, Emma. I think tonight is going to be memorable.” 

Their eyes met and held for a long moment, until the arrival of Fiona and August interrupted them. Emma forced her gaze away from Killian and smiled politely at August as he took his seat beside her.

...

“And the Emmy for Lead Actor in a Daytime Drama goes to...Hunter Mason from ‘Love in the Afternoon’.

Emma watched as Killian pasted on a smile and politely clapped for his competition.

“I'm sorry,” Emma whispered to him.

“Thank you.” He paused and added, “You're up next. Good luck.”

Emma took a deep breath as the presenters began reading the nominees. She smiled when they read her name and the camera panned to her.

“And the Emmy for Lead Actress in a Daytime Drama goes to...Emma Swan.”

Emma sat frozen to her seat. She was positive she hadn't heard correctly.

“Congratulations!” Killian whispered in her ear, a smile wide on his lips and his eyes sparkling with excitement for her.

Emma vaguely felt August squeeze her hand. On shaky legs, she finally managed to stand. She turned toward the aisle and was met with Killian's grinning face. She didn't even realize what she was doing until she felt his arms wrap around her and pull her close. She squeezed her eyes closed at the feeling of his body against hers.

“You deserve this, Emma. I'm so happy for you, love,” he said genuinely.

Emma felt his lips graze her cheek as he released her and she finally made it to the aisle. She didn't notice the look on August's face as she completely ignored him.

Emma slowly made her way to the stage and was handed the Emmy. She stared at it in disbelief for a long moment. The entire thing felt surreal. She shook her head, as she stood in front of the microphone, her hands trembling. She inhaled deeply before beginning.

“To say I didn't expect this would be a huge understatement. I had gotten very good at the polite clapping and gracious smile after losing 10 times. I...I am in complete shock and of course I don't have a speech prepared.”

Emma paused and tried to steady her breathing.

“Okay, um, thank you to the network and producers for giving me this job that changed my life. Thank you to the writers for creating a strong character I love playing and am constantly surprised by. Thank you to the crew for working so hard and putting up with me! And thank you to my amazing cast. I could not do what I do everyday without you. Thank you to the fans for sticking with me for 16 years. And last but certainly not least…”

Emma stopped and looked out at the audience. August smiled, anticipating Emma’s acknowledgement of him. 

“Thank you to my cast mate and best friend, Belle French. You are my family. You are my voice of reason and you keep me grounded. I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you!” 

Belle was sitting a few rows behind Emma. She smiled and clapped enthusiastically for her best friend. Emma walked off stage, as August's mouth hung open in shock. He quickly stood up and made his way to the lobby.

Killian watched him go and followed him into the lobby a moment later.

“August? Where in bloody hell are you going?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going home.”

“But Emma just won an Emmy. She'll want to celebrate with you.”

“I doubt she'll even notice I'm gone.”

“What are you talking about?” Killian asked, shaking his head.

“Oh, you didn't notice? Emma hugged you and ignored me when her name was called. And her speech? Was there any mention of her on and off-screen partner? No. It was as if I don't exist.”

“Emma was in shock, mate. She didn't expect to win. It was just an oversight. It didn't mean anything.”

August bowed his head, his voice softening. “It meant everything. It spoke volumes about our relationship.”

“August, don't do this.”

“Tell Emma congratulations for me,” he said.

With that, he walked out the door.

A moment later, Emma appeared before Killian.

“Killian, what are you doing out here? They're going to be announcing best daytime drama soon. I think we have a real chance of winning. I snuck out of the press room so I could be with the cast when it's announced. Come on. Let's go.”

“Wait. You need to know something first.”

“What?”

“August left.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “He left? Why?”

“Because you ignored him when your name was announced. And you left him out of your speech.”

Emma's mouth dropped open.

“Oh my God. I didn't even realize I did that. It wasn't intentional. I was just in shock.”

“I tried telling him that.”

“I have to find him.”

Emma turned on her heel to leave, but Killian gently grasped her elbow.

“Love, he made it rather clear he didn't want to see you right now.”

“But I have to make him understand.”

“I’d give him the night to cool off. Speak to him tomorrow.”

Emma nodded. “Okay. You’re right. I’d probably just make things worse tonight.”

...

A half hour later, Emma raced toward the elevator, trying to make it before the doors slid closed. This was no easy task in three inch heels and a skin tight dress.

“Hold the elevator!” she yelled.

She made it just in time, sighing in relief. She was on her way to the network party on the 10th floor. She was hoping to avoid any press who would want to know where August had disappeared to.

Emma glanced over at the person who had held the elevator door open for her and rolled her eyes. Killian.

“You again,” she muttered. 

“A simple thank you would have sufficed.”

He had been perfectly nice to her all evening and had been genuinely happy for her when she won. But she couldn’t help herself. Being rude to someone who had hurt her was her defense mechanism. It always had been. It also made it easier for her to keep push her feelings for him aside. 

“Where's Fiona? On her way home to make curfew?”

“She left, but for another reason entirely.”

“Why? There's going to be a ton of great food at the party. Not that she'd eat any of it.”

“We had a fight.” 

“About what?”

“You.”

“Me?” she asked, eyebrows lifting. 

Killian nodded. “She accused me of still having feelings for you. She said she saw the way I hugged you and the way I look at you. I told her she was being ridiculous and reminded her that we're not in a relationship anyway. That we're just having fun. That's when she left.”

Emma stared at him. “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Still have feelings for me?”

“Does it matter? You're still with August,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Because you said you didn't want to be with me,” she replied, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of her voice. 

Killian sighed. “Emma, I can't be with someone who won't let me in. Who won't let me see the true person they are.”

Emma bit at her lower lip as she watched the numbers on the elevator climb.

“I think it's best if you keep your distance at the party. I don't want anyone seeing us together without our dates and getting the wrong idea,” she said.

“As you wish,” he replied softly.

They both watched as the numbers reached nine, desperate for this uncomfortable elevator ride to end.

Suddenly, the elevator jerked and stopped abruptly between the ninth and tenth floor.

“What in bloody hell?” Killian said.

“This is not happening!” Emma said, as she began to pound on the buttons with her fist.

“Emma, stop. You'll just make things worse.”

Killian pressed the emergency button but nothing happened.

Both of them pulled out their cells and then groaned in frustration when they couldn't get a signal.

Emma suddenly began to feel like she couldn't breathe. She didn't like enclosed spaces. She felt herself gasping for air. 

“Are you okay?” Killian asked.

“I don't like enclosed spaces. Since I was a kid,” she managed to say.

Killian gently took her arm and helped her sit down.

“Just take little breaths. You'll be fine,” he said comfortingly, as he tenderly brushed her hair back from her face.

She nodded and managed a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“So you mean to tell me you've been on a soap for sixteen years and you've never done the stuck in an elevator scene?” he asked, attempting to lighten the moment.

Emma laughed. “Of course I have. Several times actually. But it was different. It wasn't a real elevator. We weren't really stuck. I knew I could get out anytime and I knew the scene would eventually end.”

“So what brought this on? This fear?” he asked.

Emma stared at him for a long moment. She had never told anyone this before. Not even Belle.

Killian sighed and lowered his gaze. “It's okay. You don't have to tell me.”

“I want to,” she replied softly.

Killian lifted his head, his eyes wide with surprise. “You do?”

Emma nodded, as she swallowed hard. “I already told you I grew up in foster care.”

Killian’s bobbed his head, but remained silent.

Emma breathed in and out deeply. “No one really knows that outside my close friends. I was shuffled from foster home to foster home. Most were dismal places with people who had no right to be around children. I was neglected and abused.”

Killian felt his heart breaking for her, as tears filled her eyes. He was shocked that Emma was allowing herself to be so open with him. He reached down  
and linked their fingers together. Killian expected her to pull away, but she didn't. She looked down at their hands and squeezed his in hers.

“The worst one was when I was six. They would lock me in a closet as  
punishment for hours. That's how I got this fear of enclosed places.”

Killian lifted his free hand and caressed her face. “I am so sorry you had to go through that, Emma.”

Emma nodded, relishing the feel of his touch. She shocked herself at how willing she was to share with him. Maybe Belle was right. She needed to let him know her past so he could understand how she became the woman she was today. She needed him to understand the fears she had.

“It made me stronger though. When I was 14, I couldn't take it anymore and I ran away. I hopped on a bus to LA with aspirations to become an actress. Of course, no decent agency would represent a minor without parental consent, so I had to find someone who worked outside the law. I found an older woman who took in runaways. She gave them a home if they gave her any money they earned from selling drugs or turning tricks. She agreed to pretend to be my foster mother so I could go on auditions with the understanding that she would get a cut of any money I made.”

“She sounds dreadful.”

“She was, but she’s the reason I got the part on the show. A few months after I arrived in L.A., they were holding open casting calls. She came and pretended to be my foster mother. I didn’t think I had a chance. There were all of these beautiful, trained girls there. I had never acted a day in my life and I was so nervous. But when I got up there, something happened inside me. The words came and I just knew this is what I was meant to do. I got called back twice more and then finally got the part. Lucky for me, they didn’t investigate my background and accepted she was my foster mother and legally allowed to give consent.”

“You had quite the start.”

Emma nodded. “My character was an immediate hit with the audience. I was playing a surly, spoiled teen and I really pulled it off. Belle was hired around the same time as me and we hit it off immediately. After a few months, I had enough money to get my own place. A fake i.d. will get you a lot.”

“So you were living on your own at 14,” Killian said. 

He was still shocked that she was opening up to him so much. He was afraid if he said the wrong thing then she would clam up again.

“Yes. I knew how to take care of myself, but I was lonely. That is, until I met Neal.”

Killian noticed her voice break as she said his name.

“Neal?”

Emma didn’t know what had come over her, but she suddenly had a desire to tell him everything about herself. The truth was, there was a part of her that felt like she’d known him forever. She realized talking to him, telling him these terrible parts of her past, wasn’t as hard as she had imagined. His sincerity and empathy made her feel comfortable revealing things about herself that she had kept bottled up for years. 

She began softly. “I was 16 and he was 18. He was the executive producer’s son and he was hired to play my love interest. I fell head over heels in love with him. I thought he felt the same. But everything changed a few months later when I found out I was pregnant.”

Killian’s mouth dropped open. “You had a child?”

Emma shook her head. “I was so scared. I knew I couldn’t take care of a child. So I decided to give it up for adoption. But when Neal and his father found out, they told me I had to get an abortion. They said that even if they could manage to hide my growing belly on screen, it would be a huge scandal having the underage star of a soap pregnant by the executive producer’s older son. More than anything though he wanted to protect his son. I told him I didn’t want an abortion, but he threatened to fire me if I didn’t agree. I was so scared of losing everything. I had fought so hard to get where I was. I was scared I’d end up back on the streets with nothing. I begged Neal to talk to his father, but he refused and said it was for the best. I knew in that moment he never loved me. But I felt I had no choice, so I went through with the abortion.” Emma paused, tears now streaming down her face. “And I’ve regretted it ever since.”

Killian stared at her for a long moment, finally understanding why she became the woman she did. She had her heart broken at sixteen so she never let anyone get close again. She fought to get where she is today and that’s why she sees everyone as a threat to her. She’s scared of losing it all so she comes off as this defensive diva.

Killian reached up and brushed a tear off her cheek with his thumb. “Thank you for telling me,” he whispered.

Emma stared into his eyes. “Thank you for listening,” she replied. She lowered her eyes. “Only Belle knows about the abortion. I never even told August.”

Killian’s eyes widened in surprise. “I am honored you trusted me enough to share that part of your life with me.”

Emma offered him a gentle smile. It felt freeing to finally open up to him.

Their gazes met and held for a long moment. Killian lifted his hand and cupped Emma’s cheek, as he leaned towards her. His eyes scanned her face, looking for some sign of hesitation but he found none. Emma closed her eyes, waiting for his lips to touch hers. 

Just then, the elevator jerked upwards and the doors slid open. Emma and Killian’s lips were less than an inch apart and they were still so lost in the moment that they didn’t even notice they had an audience. Standing outside the elevator, there was a gaggle of fans who had somehow managed to make it up to the 10th floor where the network was holding their party. They were hoping to get a glimpse of their favorite soap stars. They got more than they bargained for. And without Killian and Emma realizing it, their camera phones had caught it all.

Emma and Killian finally snapped out of the moment and quickly separated. Their mouths dropped open as they stared at a dozen fans who had just witnessed their near kiss. 

…  
End of Part 5  
Thanks for reading! I’d appreciate any feedback you’d like to give! ~Steph


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part! Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 6/11…

 

The following day, Emma knocked on August’s dressing room door. He answered it on the second knock.

“I knew it was you,” he said flatly, as she walked inside and he shut the door behind her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I screwed up last night. I was just so surprised about winning that I wasn’t thinking.”

August shook his head. “Do you have any idea how it felt sitting in that audience having to watch you hug Killian and thank everyone under the sun without a mention of me?”

“I’m sure it felt awful,” she replied softly.

“If it had been me, Emma, up on that stage, you would have been the first person I thanked. You would have been the one person I would have made sure to acknowledge.”

“You have to know it wasn’t intentional.” 

“I do know that. But it speaks volumes about what I mean to you. Or, rather, how little I mean to you.”

Emma sighed, as tears began to fill her eyes. August was a good man who had been nothing but loving towards her. He didn’t deserve to be constantly made to feel unimportant.

Emma stepped forward and took his hands in hers. “I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry. You mean a lot to me and I am so sorry I ever made you feel otherwise.”

August sighed heavily. He could see the regret in her eyes. “I am happy for you, Emma. That win was a long time coming. You deserved it. I am really proud of you.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Can we please try to put this behind us?”

August slowly nodded. “Okay.”

…

Emma stared at her award, which she had placed on her make-up table. She still couldn’t believe she had finally won an Emmy.

“Still basking in the glow of your win?” she heard come from behind her.

Emma looked up and into the mirror. She saw Killian’s reflection staring back at her. After their almost kiss in the elevator, she had avoided him the rest of the evening. The truth was, she had wanted to kiss him and, if the doors hadn’t opened, she would have. She was grateful things had happened the way they did though. She had hurt August enough last night. She wasn’t sure she could live with herself if she betrayed him too.

She spun around and faced Killian. Last night, she had opened herself up to him. She had told him things that no one else knew. She had surprised herself with how open and honest she had been with him. But what surprised her even more was that she didn’t regret it. 

She stood up and walked towards him. “It still doesn’t feel real.”

“Would you like me to pinch you, love?” he asked, bringing his hand up to caress her bare arm.

Goosebumps immediately appeared on her skin at his touch. Emma took a step back, moving out of his reach. “We need to talk about last night.”

“I see. You regret opening up to me,” he replied with a heavy sigh, 

Emma shook her head. “No, I don’t. I’m glad I told you about my past.”

Killian arched his brow in surprise. “I understand you better now, Emma. I can see how you became the woman you are today. You’re strong and tough, but you’re afraid of losing everything. So you get defensive and you lash out at what you deem a threat. I was a threat.”

“I don’t see you as one anymore,” she said. Her voice softened. “But that kiss we almost shared…it was a mistake. We got caught up in the moment and we got carried away. Nothing like that can ever happen again.”

Killian took a step closer to her. “You wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss you last night, Emma. We didn’t get caught up in anything. It almost happened because we wanted it to and the only reason it didn’t is because those doors opened.”

“It doesn’t matter, Killian,” she said with as much conviction as she could muster. “It was wrong. I am with August and I hurt him enough last night.”

“Emma, a couple of weeks ago, you were ready to break up with him. You wanted to be with me.”

“And you said you couldn’t be with someone you knew would break your heart.”

“That’s right. I didn’t think you were capable of letting me in, of opening up to me. But you did last night. You allowed me to see the true you. You said you didn’t regret that.”

“I don’t.”

“Then what am I missing? It’s clear to me that August isn’t the right man for you. You don’t love him,” he said, trying and failing to keep the frustration out of his voice.

“But he loves me. And I know he’ll never break my heart,” she replied softly. 

“You can’t break something you don’t have,” Killian whispered, his eyes focused on hers.

“I gave my heart when I was sixteen years old and the person I gave it to broke it into a million pieces,” she said, her voice emerging shakily.

“You gave it to the wrong person, Emma.”

She nodded. “I did. And I swore I would never put myself in that position again.”

“August is safe and he is dependable, but that’s what you look for in a car, not a man to spend your life with,” Killian replied sharply. 

“Killian,” she whispered.

He stepped forward and brought his hand up to cup her face, his thumb stroking her jaw. “You know that we could have something incredible, Emma. That’s why you’re so scared. Love is a risk. I was afraid to take that risk for a long time too, but I’m not anymore. I found a woman worth risking my heart for and I’m looking at her.”

“Killian, please go,” she said, as she squeezed her eyes closed.

He dropped his hand and stepped back. “This isn’t over, Emma. I won’t give up on us.” 

With that, he turned on his heel and left. Emma squeezed her eyes closed and felt the tears burn her lids.

…

A few hours later, Emma heard a knock on the door. She opened it and found Belle on the other side.

“Have you been online yet today?” she asked, as she rushed inside.

“No. Why?”

“You better sit down.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “What’s going on, Belle?”

Belle held her phone up to her. “This picture is currently plastered all over the Internet.”

Emma stared open-mouthed at the picture of her and Killian sitting in the elevator about to kiss.

“Oh my God.”

“Didn’t you see anyone take your picture?”

Emma shook her head. “We were a little distracted. The doors opened and there were a bunch of fans. One of them must have taken it with their phone.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I…I don’t know. August was already upset with me for forgetting to mention him in my acceptance speech.”

Belle’s phone dinged.

“What was that?” Emma asked.

“A Google alert.”

Belle touched the screen on her phone. “Oh no.”

“What?” Emma asked, her eyes widening.

“It gets worse.”

“How can it get worse?”

“Soap Suds picked up the story and they ran an article claiming you and Killian are involved.”

“What? They can’t do that!”

“They already did. They posted the picture from the elevator. They posted a picture of you hugging Killian after your name was called at the Emmy’s with August just standing there with a look of obvious displeasure.” Belle paused and shook her head. “Oh, no. Emma, they have a picture of you and Killian at the bar. One of you two getting in a taxi together. One with both of you standing outside your house. And they have one of him leaving your house.”

“Some crazy fan must have seen us at the bar and followed us home! But nothing happened. We had coffee and I fell asleep. Then he left. The pictures are misleading.”

“The article says that your chemistry has spilled off screen, despite the fact that you’ve been involved with your on-screen husband for five years.”

Emma covered her face with her hands. “August is going to lose it.”

Belle sighed. “Emma, the pictures may not tell the whole story, but the article isn’t entirely untrue.”

“I haven’t cheated on August,” Emma said defensively.

“You have feelings for another man. How long do you think you can deny that?”

Emma swallowed hard. “I told Killian about my past last night. While we were stuck in the elevator.”

Belle’s eyes grew wide in shock. “You did?”

Emma nodded. “Yes, and once I started it all just came out. It felt good to tell him. It felt natural.”

Belle smiled. “That’s great, Emma. That’s a huge step. I’m really proud of you.”

“And then earlier today he told me he wants to be with me. Now that he understands me better and I let him in, he’s not scared anymore.”

“That’s wonderful,” Belle said, her smile widening.

Emma shook her head. “No, it isn’t. He understands how badly I was hurt now, Belle. And now I know that my feelings for him are so deep that he has the power to hurt me just as much as Neal did, if not more.”

“Emma,” Belle began.

“Aren’t you needed on set?” Emma asked, as she blinked back sudden tears.

Belle looked at the time on her phone. 

“Yes, I have to go.” She squeezed Emma’s arm comfortingly. “We’ll talk more later.”

Emma nodded. “Okay.”

With that, Belle opened the door to leave the dressing room. She nearly collided with Killian as she stepped over the threshold.

“Apologies,” he said, as he sidestepped her. 

“It’s okay,” Belle replied and continued on her way.

Emma squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t know if she could deal with him right now.

“Emma, what’s wrong?” he asked.

She held her phone up to him. “Everything.”

Killian looked at the picture of the two of them nearly kissing. “Who took this?”

“One of those fans standing outside the elevator.” Her voice lowered. “I guess we were too preoccupied to notice. It’s all over the Internet.”

“Bloody hell,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“And Soap Suds is saying we’re having an affair,” she said.

Killian raised his eyebrows. “I suppose our attraction to one another is rather apparent.”

Emma dropped her eyes. “August is going to be furious.”

Just then, a knock sounded at the door. 

“Come in,” Emma said.

An intern poked her head in. “Ms. Mills wants to see both of you in her office now.”

Killian groaned. “This is turning out to be quite a day.”

“I certainly don’t look forward to the tongue lashing we’re about to get,” she said, as they made their way into the hall.

They entered Regina’s office, steeling themselves for her wrath.

“You summoned us,” Killian said.

“Yes, I did,” she replied. “I assume you’ve seen the scandal you two have caused on the Internet.”

Emma raised her hand. “It’s completely untrue. There’s nothing going on between us. It was all taken out of context, but I’m sorry we’ve caused a problem for the show.”

Regina laughed. “A problem? There’s no such thing as bad press, Ms. Swan. Everyone loves a scandal. People are talking about our show. Fans love when stars of a soap take their romance off screen.”

“But I just told you we haven’t,” she said. 

Regina waved her hand in dismissal. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. All that matters is what they believe. This will be great for our ratings.”

“So you’re not angry with us?” Killian asked.

Regina shook her head. “Not in the least.”

Killian and Emma exchanged a look.

“Now, keep up the good work,” Regina said.

Emma and Killian exited Regina’s office.

“That was certainly not how I expected that to go,” Killian said.

“Me neither.” She sighed and then said, “I need to find August before he hears about this from someone else or, worse, sees it himself.”

Killian watched her go.

…

Emma couldn’t find August anywhere, so she returned to her dressing room. When she entered, she found him sitting on her couch.

“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

He nodded, his eyes focused on his phone. Emma swallowed hard.

“Let me guess. You wanted to tell me that the picture all over the Internet of you about to kiss your co-star wasn’t what it looked like.”

Emma shook her head, as she took a deep breath. “No, it was. We were about to kiss, but then the doors opened.”

August bobbed his head, as he came to stand before her. “The truth. What a novel idea. You’re going to tell me it meant nothing though, right? You were just caught up in the moment, right?”

Emma dropped her gaze. The hurt in his eyes was nearly too much to bear. The truth was, it did mean something. It meant everything.

“That’s right,” she whispered.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the near kiss, Emma? I saw the Soap Suds article. I know everything else was innocent. But not what happened in that elevator.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have, August.”

“What exactly happened in that elevator?” he asked coldly.

She took a deep breath. “I got a little freaked out when the elevator stopped and Killian helped calm me down. I was still shocked by my win and upset about you leaving. We started talking. I…I don’t know. It just happened.”

“And the only thing that stopped it was the doors opening.”

“Yes,” she whispered. 

“And yet you expect me to believe that you don’t have feelings for him.”

“I don’t,” she whispered.

August shrugged his shoulders. “Let’s forget about Killian Jones for a minute. I want to talk about us.” He paused and asked, “Do you love me?”

Emma lowered her eyes. “You know how much you mean to me.”

“That’s not what I asked,” he replied sharply. 

“August.”

“You’ve never said it, Emma. Not once in five years. Not when I asked you to move in with me or proposed several times. I guess that should have been a big clue.”

“August, you know I’m not good at saying how I feel. I know I have a lot of walls and I haven’t made it easy to be with me. I’m sorry. I know you deserve more than I can give you.”

“You’re right, I do. The problem is I love you, Emma. I have since the moment I laid eyes on you and I can’t just make that go away.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“I need you to be honest with me,” he said. “I want to be with you. But I need to know if you’ll ever love me. If you’ll ever be able to say those words to me.”

“I want to be able to,” she said softly, not meeting his eyes. “Can that be good enough for now?”

August sighed heavily. “I guess it will have to be.”

He then walked past her and out the door. Emma sank down onto the couch. She took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the picture of her and Killian about to kiss. She ran her fingertip across his face. 

…

 

August felt his blood boiling inside of him. He knew, at the very least, Emma was attracted to Killian. He also knew she would never admit it. When he got angry, the only thing that could calm him down was a breath of fresh air. He headed to a door that led to a courtyard.

As soon as he stepped outside, his eyes landed on Killian. He was sitting on a bench studying a script. He knew he should have turned back around and gone inside. But he felt his feet carrying him forward until he was standing in front of him.

Killian didn’t notice his presence until August’s figure was blocking out the sun. He glanced up at him.

“You mind, mate?”

“Mind what? The fact that you almost kissed my girlfriend? Or the fact that you very clearly have feelings for her.”

Killian stood up and faced August. “I won’t deny how I feel about, Emma.”

August felt his fists clench and unclench at his side. Killian’s eyes darted downward, the action not going unnoticed.

“I supposed this is the part where you punch me and tell me to stay the hell away from your girlfriend.”

August laughed mirthlessly. “Ah, you know the scene.” He shook his head. “But I’m not going to punch you.”

Killian chuckled, as he gestured to his face. “Glad to hear it. I’d hate for you to mar my devilishly handsome face. The powers that be would be rather displeased too. This face equals higher ratings.”

“You’re a smug bastard, you know that?” 

Killian nodded. “I’ve been called worse.”

August shrugged his shoulders. “I could tell you to stay away from Emma, but I’m smart enough to know it will do no good.”

“You’d be right.”

August let out a breath. “Emma has been through a lot in her life, Killian. The last thing she needs is some guy coming into her life claiming to care for her and making her believe that she’s more than another notch on his bedpost. I know you probably view her as a challenge because she didn’t worship you the moment you met. But Emma is not something to conquer.”

Killian’s eyes flashed with anger. “You can believe what you want, but my feelings for Emma are real. I don’t wish to hurt you, August, and if I thought that your relationship with Emma was based on love, rather than familiarity and security, then I would step aside. But it is not. At least not on her end. You are fooling yourself if you believe she will ever love you.”

August felt his jaw tighten. Deep down, he knew Killian was right. But that didn’t stop him from hoping that if he could just hold onto her long enough then maybe one day she would return his feelings. 

August cocked his head to the side. “Maybe I am. But when you find someone as special as Emma, you fight like hell to hold onto her.”

Killian bobbed his head, as he looked August squarely in the eye. “Ah, we finally agree on something.”

August opened his mouth to reply, but thought better of it and snapped it shut. Instead, he headed back inside without another word. 

Killian watched him go. There was a part of him that pitied the man. He had devoted five years of his life to a woman who would never love him. A woman who wanted another man. He couldn’t blame August for not giving up on Emma. Killian hadn’t known Emma for very long and his feelings for her were new, but he already knew that he’d wait a lifetime for her. 

…  
End of Part 6  
Thanks for reading! I’d appreciate any feedback you’d like to give! ~Steph


	7. Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part. Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 7/11…

The next couple of weeks proved difficult. The Internet wouldn't let go of the notion that Emma and Killian were having an affair. They both spotted paparazzi from various soap sites following them around, hoping to get a picture they could twist to support their rumor. But Killian and Emma made sure to stay away from each other outside of work. And Emma was doing a good job avoiding him at work too. She took to spending all of her time in Belle's and August's dressing rooms. She only saw Killian on set.

Unfortunately for her, she couldn't avoid him much longer. The show had been invited to Fashion Week in New York. Normally, Emma's character would participate in Fashion Week on the show, but they would simply pretend they were in New York. This time, they would be able to shoot on the runway and behind the scenes. They could even shoot a bit around New York. Emma, Killian, and a few more actors who play models would be going, along with some of the crew.

Their time in New York would also feature a pivotal moment in the relationship between Emma and Killian’s characters. Emma’s character, Eva, had not yet slept with Killian’s character, Tyler. They had kissed many times, but Eva would always stop it from going any further. She would insist that she loved her husband and that this had to stop. But invariably it would happen again. In New York, Eva and Tyler would be celebrating after the runway show. They would take their celebration up to Eva’s hotel room and have sex for the first time.

Emma was dreading the entire scene. She didn’t know how she was supposed to make it through a scene where she was pretending to have sex with Killian when her attraction to him and feelings for him were so incredibly strong. 

They had shot their scenes in New York that day and Emma had gone up to her hotel room early. She was jetlagged and wanted nothing more than to take a hot bath and curl up with a good book. She had her robe on and was just about to get into the tub when she heard a knock at the door. She momentarily considered ignoring it since the water in the tub was nice and warm and the bubbles looked so inviting. But she thought better of it, deciding that it could be important.

She went to the door and threw it open, surprised to find Killian standing behind it. His eyes washed over her figure, which was still clad only in her robe. She grew self-conscious and pulled her robe closed more and tightened the belt.

“What are you doing here, Killian?” she asked.

“I wanted to see you, Emma. You’ve been avoiding me, love.”

“Yes, I have and for good reason. I don’t want to give the Internet any more ammunition for their scandalous stories. And showing up at my hotel room really isn’t helping.”

"Can I please come in?"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," she said.

"The longer I stand out here, the greater chance there is of a fan seeing us."

Emma groaned and reluctantly stepped aside, allowing him entrance. She closed the door behind him, but not before quickly checking that the hallway was empty.

Emma turned around and found Killian sitting on the end of the bed. She took a deep breath before sitting down beside him.

"Why are you here, Killian?" she finally asked after several awkward moments of silence passed.

Killian swallowed hard, as he met her gaze. "Because I've been lying in my bed down the hall, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about nothing else but you."

Emma dropped her eyes. "Killian," she said softly.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” He paused before whispering, "I want you, Emma.”

"Please, don't," she said, tears now filling her eyes.

Killian lifted his hand to her chin and gently tilted her head upwards so that their eyes met again. 

"And I know you want me, too," he said.

Killian's hand moved to caress Emma's cheek, his thumb stroking her jaw, as he slowly closed the distance between them. Emma felt her breath catch in her chest at the first touch of his lips to hers. 

They'd kissed many times as their characters, so she already knew how he felt, knew how he tasted. But this was the first time it was just them. Emma and Killian, not Eva and Tyler. All alone. No cameras. No crew. Just the two of them.

Emma cupped the back of his head, her nails gripping his hair, as Killian's tongue swept into her mouth. She always knew he was a great kisser, but this kiss was different. In this kiss, they finally allowed themselves to express the feelings they had been trying to suppress for so long.

Her tongue slid along his and then she nibbled on his lower lip, as a sigh flowed from his mouth. She felt his hands slide down to her waist and pull her closer to him, so that her body was pressed up against his chest. The only thing that separated her body from his was her thin silk robe. 

Killian felt like he couldn't get enough of Emma. The feel of her body pressed against his and the taste of her was intoxicating. He knew he could spend the rest of his life holding her in his arms. 

They finally parted, but their foreheads remained touching. 

Killian smiled. "So much better than Eva and Tyler."

Emma laughed lightly, as her eyes swept across his lips. She was about to kiss him again, when she heard her cell phone ringing.

Killian placed his hand over hers. "Let it ring."

"I can't. It could be important."

Emma reluctantly stood up and walked over to the nightstand. She picked up the phone and looked at the screen. It was August. 

She felt a pit grow in her stomach, the guilt suddenly making her nauseous. She felt guilty for kissing Killian, but even guiltier because she hadn't once thought about August as she was doing it. Not until the phone rang.

"It's August," she said, staring at the phone. 

Killian looked at her and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Emma considered not answering it, but then found herself hitting the accept button.

"August…hi."

"Hi, Emma. I just wanted to check in with you and see how it's going in New York."

"Oh, uh... It's great. We had a really good day shooting and the whole Fashion Week thing is incredible. I wish we could stay more than a couple of days."

"Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. I miss you though."

The words hung in the air. Emma waited a long moment before quickly replying, "Miss you too."

Killian's eyes dropped to his hands.

She paused and then swallowed hard. "It's getting late here. I've got an early call time tomorrow, so I'm going to turn in."

"Okay, goodnight, Emma."

"Goodnight, August."

Emma ended the call and then placed the phone back down on the table. 

"You need to go," she said, not looking up to meet Killian's eyes. 

She moved around the bed to go to the door, when she felt his hand gently encircle her wrist. Emma looked down at him.

"Why did you lie to him?" he asked.

Emma shook her head. "I didn't."

"You said you missed him. The woman who just kissed me didn't seem like a woman missing her boyfriend."

Emma freed her wrist from his grip. "That was a mistake. It can't happen again."

Killian stood up and met her gaze. "And now you're lying to me."

Emma's jaw clenched. "What do you want from me, Killian?"

"I want you to be honest with me, honest with yourself," he replied sharply. 

"I was! I told you I wanted to take a chance on you and you shot me down."

"You don't have a monopoly on broken hearts, Emma. You weren't the only one who was scared. But I'm not anymore. We both want the same thing. The only one standing in our way is you."

Emma blinked back tears. "Please leave."

Killian sighed heavily and then turned on his heel. Emma dropped her head and sank onto the bed as she heard the door slam.

…

The following day, Killian spotted Emma on set. The crew was preparing what was to be Eva's hotel room. Emma was sitting on the couch studying her script. Killian approached her.

"We need to talk about last night," he said.

Emma looked up at him. "Keep your voice down. There is nothing to talk about. We just need to get through this love scene and then get home."

"Emma, please, we-"

"Emma, Killian, take your places," Gold instructed.

Emma didn't meet Killian's eyes as she stood up and walked over to the bed. She sat on the end. Killian sighed heavily as he made his way to the other side of the hotel room door.

He couldn't help the flashback he had to the previous night as he stood at her door as Tyler this time, poised to knock.

"Action!" Gold yelled.

Killian knocked on the door and Emma stood up from the bed. She walked to the door and opened it. A smile spread across her lips.

"I was hoping it would be you," she said.

"I've been waiting all day to do this," he said, as he stepped through the door and pulled Emma to him, his lips crashing into hers.

Killian kicked the door closed and quickly maneuvered them in front of the bed.

Emma pulled back and met his eyes. "Tyler, I need you. I know I've been reluctant to take the next step because of my marriage, but I can't stop thinking about you. Make love to me."

Killian smiled at her. "I've been waiting to hear those words from you, Eva."

With that, Killian's lips descended upon Emma's again. They both tried to be professional. They tried to separate themselves from their characters, but it wasn't easy when they had developed such a strong attraction and deep feelings for each other.

Killian had done many love scenes in his ten years on soaps and he had pretended to make love to many beautiful women. But he had never once been turned on during them. There were always too many crew members around, too many directions to follow. It was usually more awkward than anything. The same was true for Emma.

But as they kissed and Killian slowly unbuttoned Emma's blouse to reveal a strapless black lace bra, everyone around them seemed to disappear. Emma met his eyes before he pushed the shirt off of her and began to kiss her neck, then her collarbone. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, loving the feel of his warm mouth on her skin. It was even better than she imagined. 

Emma's hands moved to unbutton his shirt. She smiled as she exposed his toned chest. She then made quick work of his pants, revealing his boxer briefs. Emma glanced down at him and she could see that Killian was definitely being affected by their love scene. 

Killian's mouth moved back to Emma's, as his hands reached for the zipper of her skirt. He slid it down and she stepped out of it, revealing matching black lace panties.

Killian pulled back and admired her. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

Emma knew the script called for him to say Eva at the end, but she realized he had purposely left it off.

Killian stepped forward and swept Emma up into his arms. He carried her to the bed and laid her down on top of it. 

Their eyes met and he was just about to kiss her again when Gold yelled, "Cut!"

Their eyes remained fixed on each other.

"Brilliant work, you two. Now get under the covers for the next scene."

Emma slid under the covers, as Killian did the same. He hovered above her, his gaze never leaving hers. His hand reached up to caress her cheek, even though Gold hadn't said action yet. 

"Action!"

Killian's lips moved to Emma's and then trailed across her chest. Emma's hands slid down the smooth skin of his back, her nails digging into the muscles. The world disappeared around them again and they became consumed by the moment. 

Emma flipped them over, even though the scene didn't call for it. She straddled Killian's hips and smiled down at him. Straddling during love scenes on daytime television was a big no-no. Killian smiled at her, as he reached up and cupped her face. He pulled her lips down to him, as Emma began grinding her body against his. Grinding was another big no-no.

"Cut!" Gold screamed.

But Emma and Killian were so lost in each other they didn't hear him. Killian slipped his tongue into Emma's mouth, breaking the third love scene rule.

"Cut! Bloody hell!"

They finally heard him and separated quickly. Emma looked down at Killian, stunned that she had let things go so far. She was a professional. She knew better. They both did. 

"What the devil were you two doing? We're going to have to edit the hell out of that in order to get it by the censors."

"Sorry, mate," Killian said. "We were just improvising to try to sell the scene."

"Sorry," Emma whispered, her face turning blood red.

It was then that Emma realized she was still straddling Killian's hips and feeling the evidence of his arousal. He wouldn't be able to leave that bed for a bit without being very embarrassed. 

"I...I need to get out of here," she said, climbing off of him and getting out of bed.

She felt her face flush red as she realized the entire crew had witnessed their lack of professionalism. They had crossed a line. 

She turned around, ready to flee the set when she came face to face with August standing just off stage. She didn't have to wonder if he had witnessed their love scene. It was written all over his face.

"August, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you. I figured we could spend the weekend together in New York before flying back. I didn't realize I was the one in for a surprise."

August turned on his heel and stormed off.

"August, wait! Please!"

"Let him go, Emma," Killian said, his hand on her elbow, as he stood behind her, his lower body wrapped in a sheet. 

Emma spun around to face him and tore free from his touch. "Leave me the hell alone."

"We need to talk. You can't keep avoiding this thing between us. Look at what just happened, Emma."

"Goodbye, Killian," she said, before heading in the direction August had gone.

"Emma!" Killian called, but she didn't look back.

...

Emma found August in her dressing room. 

"I can explain," she said.

"Explain what? How you just broke every soap love scene rule in the book? How you let your feelings affect your work? Or how you keep saying you care about me and want to be with me, but your actions say something else entirely?"

"I'm sorry," Emma said, as she came to stand in front of him. "We got carried away. We were just trying to sell the scene and we took it too far."

"Stop lying to me. Just stop."

"I'm not."

August took a step closer to her, his eyes focused on hers. "Have you had sex with him?"

"No, of course not. I would never do that to you."

"Have you kissed him?"

Emma swallowed hard. "No," she said with as much conviction as she could muster.

She watched his face for his reaction, trying to gauge if he believed her. 

"Okay," he whispered. “I believe you.”

Emma wondered if he truly believed her or if he just didn't want to accept the truth that was staring him in the face. The woman he loved was in love with another man. 

He paused for a long moment, his eyes scanning her face. “But you are attracted to him. You can deny it all you want, but it’s very clear to me. Clear to everyone."

"August-…" she began but he cut her off.

"And it seems it may go deeper than that. But you need to understand the kind of man he is, Emma. Killian Jones is a womanizer. He's not going to just change for you, no matter what he says. You're a challenge. And once he gets what he wants then he will move on. And where will that leave you?"

Emma felt her breath catch in her chest. Maybe August was right. Maybe this was all just a game to Killian.

Emma forced a smile. "It doesn’t matter because I am with you and that’s not going to change. Let’s just put this behind us and enjoy the weekend. Okay?”

August nodded, but didn’t say another word.

“Let me get changed and then we can go sightseeing," she said.

August shook his head. "We need to go home."

"But you came all this way."

He dropped his eyes. "It's time to go home, Emma," he said.

Emma simply nodded.

...

Robin stared at his friend over his drink. 

"I'm not going to lie to you, mate. That's bad."

Killian nodded. "I know. We just...we got swept up. We've been battling these feelings and this attraction and the night before we kissed in her hotel room so-..."

"Whoa, wait a minute. You left that part out."

Killian nodded. "We kissed and it was bloody brilliant. And then August called."

Robin sighed. "Look, mate, August is my friend too. I don't like what you and Emma are doing to him. He's a good man. He doesn't deserve this."

Killian nodded. "I know. I have tried telling her she needs to break up with him, but she's scared. She’s scared of getting her heart broken again. But this thing between us is undeniable. It's not going to go away."

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Killian slowly nodded. "Aye. I've never felt this way before, not even for Milah."

Robin patted him on the back. "Glad to see you're not hiding from love anymore. But this situation is complicated. I think you need to back off. Give Emma time. If she feels the same way about you and you're meant to be together, then she'll realize it eventually and do the right thing."

Killian sighed deeply.

...

"You what?!" Belle said.

"Keep your voice down!" Emma replied, as she looked around at the cafeteria where the cast and crew were eating their lunch.

"Emma, this is bad. This is very bad. August doesn't deserve this."

"I know. He loves me and he has been so good to me. He has been so patient. And how have I repaid him? By having feelings for another man and kissing him. I've never even told him I love him."

"Because you don't. Emma, you are clearly in love with another man."

Emma swallowed. "A man who will only break my heart. Things could never work between us, Belle. Our egos are too big, we fight all the time."

"It's called passion."

"And passion dies and then what's left?"

"So you'd rather settle for a life with August. A safe, comfortable, passionless life."

"What's wrong with that?"

Belle smiled sadly, as she patted her best friend's hand. "Nothing, if you don't mind a life without happiness too. Killian makes you happy, Emma. I see the way your eyes light up when you talk about him, I see the way you look at him. I've never seen you like this before. August doesn't do that for you and he never will."

Emma shook her head sharply. "You're wrong. I can be happy with August. I can even learn to love him."

"Listen to yourself. You don't learn to love someone. Love isn't an instrument you take up. It's not like learning how to knit or ski. Love just happens, Emma. And it's messy and inconvenient, but it is worth it."

Emma paused for a long moment, as she chewed on her lower lip. "What if August is right about Killian, Belle?"

"What did August say?"

"He said he'll never change. He'll always be a womanizer. That he views me as a challenge and that once he gets what he wants he'll move on."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

Emma shrugged. "I don't know. Obviously, I've been fooled before. Maybe I'm not the best judge."

"Well, I don't believe it for a second. Killian can have any woman he wants, but he wants you. If this was just about a challenge, just about sex, then he would have moved on long ago. Why put himself through all of this? Emma, his feelings for you are real. It's your fear that's making you question it."

Emma shook her head. "I just can’t risk it, Belle. Maybe you don't remember how Neal destroyed me, but I do. I thought I could put it behind me and take a chance with Killian, but I was wrong. My life, my future is with August."

Belle simply sighed but didn't say another word.

…

Over the next couple of weeks, Emma avoided Killian whenever possible. She felt a shift in her relationship with August too. She felt him pulling away from her. Emma worried that she would lose him. She would lose a man who loved her and who could give her the stable life she had desired since she was a child. 

The guilt over the kiss she shared with Killian and the lie she told August began to eat away at her. She wondered if he knew the truth and that had caused him to become distant. All her life Emma had been the one left behind, the one discarded by those who claimed to care about her. She never thought August would be one of those people, but maybe she had finally pushed him too far. Emma knew she had to do something before it was too late and she was cast aside once more.

She took a deep breath as she knocked on August's door.

He opened it and offered her a half-hearted smile. "Good morning, Emma."

"Good morning," she said, brushing past him and entering his dressing room.

He closed the door and came to stand before her. They stood in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments until he broke it. 

"Did you want something? Because I have to be on set in a few minutes."

Emma's mouth hung open. The words wouldn't come out.

"Emma, are you okay?" August asked, his brow furrowing worriedly.

"I...uh...I...love you," she said.

August's eyes widened. "What?"

She swallowed hard. "I know you've been waiting a long time to hear me say that and I'm sorry."

"I don't understand. Five years and you pick now to tell me you love me. Why?"

Emma shrugged. "I don't know. I just...I don't want to lose you."

August had waited five long years to hear those words, but they brought him no joy. It felt like she was saying them out of obligation. But still he knew it was a step in the right direction. He loved Emma and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. 

Maybe, he thought, he had gotten through to her about Killian and she was ready to put him behind her. Maybe she realized that he was the right man for her and was finally ready to fully commit to him.

August stepped forward. "I love you, too," he said, before placing a kiss on her lips and then pulling her into his arms.

Emma buried her face in his shoulder and closed her eyes. She tried to feel his words deep in her heart and soul, but they only left her thinking about one thing: Killian.

...

Belle shook her head at Emma as they sat in Belle's dressing room.

"Why did you tell August you love him?"

"Because he deserved to hear it. It's been five years."

"But it's not true."

Emma shook her head. "Yes, it is. I do love him."

Belle sighed. "Not the way he loves you. You love him as a friend. You're not in love with him, Emma."

"Maybe being in love is overrated. After all, if you can be in it, then you can fall out of it. I was in love with Neal and look how that worked out. Maybe it's better to have a solid friendship and know each other really well. Maybe that's what makes a relationship last."

Belle snorted. "Then you might as well marry me if that's your criteria."

Emma chuckled and playfully slapped her arm. "Ha ha."

Belle's expression grew serious again. "Emma, those words mean a lot to August. But no matter how you justify it, it was a lie. You're not in love with him. You're in love with Killian."

Emma stood up abruptly. "My feelings for Killian don't matter. My future is with August."

“How many times are you going to have to say that before you actually start believing it?” Belle asked. 

Emma ignored her and then walked out. Belle simply shook her head in frustration. 

...

Emma felt Killian's presence behind her. They were on set, ready to start shooting.

"When are you going to stop avoiding me?"

Emma spun around, but refused to meet his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You haven't said a word to me outside of our characters since we got back from New York. We need to discuss what happened, Emma."

"We already did. It was a mistake. It didn't mean anything."

"So if it didn't mean anything, then I assume you told August about it."

Emma swallowed roughly. "I didn't see any reason to hurt him over something that meant nothing."

"And what about our love scene? Did that mean nothing too? Bloody hell, Emma, when are you going to stop lying to everyone around you? When are you going to stop lying to yourself? You don't belong with August."

"I told him I love him," she spat out, finally meeting his eyes.

Killian's jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with hurt. "Another lie."

"I don't want to talk about this with you anymore," she said, as she maneuvered past him and walked over to take her spot to start their scene.

"Emma," he said, but she simply ignored him.

"Take your places!" Gold yelled.

Killian sighed heavily and then came to stand before Emma, who was in front of her desk.

"Action!"

"We need to be careful, Tyler," Emma began. "I think my husband is suspicious."

Killian stepped forward and brought his hand up to caress her cheek. The script didn't call for it, but Emma felt goose bumps appear on her skin at his touch. 

"When are you going to leave him, Eva?"

"It's not that simple. We've built a life together. I still love him."

"Then what are you doing with me?" he asked, his eyes boring holes into hers. 

Emma had to break eye contact with him. "I can't seem to resist you, Tyler."

"I don't want you to," Killian said, as he began to step forward to kiss her. 

Just then, there was a knock at the door. The script called for them to be interrupted by Belle.

Emma swallowed hard and placed her hand on his chest, pushing Killian away from her.

"Come in," she said.

The door swung open, but it wasn't Belle who stood behind it. It was August. 

Emma and Killian exchanged a confused look. The scene didn't call for August’s character, Tad, to be in it. 

August was holding a bouquet of roses. Emma swallowed hard, as she stared at him in shock. Killian stood by her side. She could feel his eyes on her.

August walked towards her and handed her the bouquet. Then he got down on one knee.

Emma's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my God," she muttered.

Killian felt his heart drop into his chest.

August reached out and took Emma's hand. "I'm hoping third time's a charm." He took a deep breath. "Emma, I think you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

He let go of her hand and dug into his pocket. He emerged with a small velvet ring box which he opened and held up to her.

Emma stared at the beautiful three carat diamond ring. She suddenly spotted Belle standing off stage and caught her eye. Normally, her best friend would have been smiling, happy for her. But Belle simply shook her head.

Emma glanced over at Killian, his sparkling blue eyes now swimming with pain. She knew no matter what her answer was she was about to hurt a man she cared about.

August cleared his throat and laughed nervously. "Well? Don't leave a guy hanging."

Emma felt the eyes of the cast and crew on her, awaiting her answer. 

She slowly looked down at August and plastered on a smile, as she found her head nodding and the words slipping out of her mouth. "Yes, I'll marry you."

August's face lit up and a smile spread across his lips. She held her trembling hand out to him and he slid the ring on her finger before standing and kissing her.

Killian felt the tears burn his eyes. He dropped his head and moved away from them, before quickly exiting the set. He brushed past Belle, who had been rendered speechless.

The cast and crew that had gathered to watch the scene erupted with applause now. 

August and Emma parted. He smiled at her. "You just made me the happiest man on Earth," he said.

Emma returned his smile, but she didn't feel like the happiest woman on Earth. She felt like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

...  
End of part 7   
Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to give! ~Steph


	8. Part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part! Yikes, you guys are not happy with Emma! I can see why you guys might not like her right now and think what she’s been doing is insensitive and manipulative. But I guess I see it differently. Emma’s damaged. Her choices stem from fear of abandonment and getting her heart broken due to her life experiences. This story isn’t just about her relationship with Killian but her growth and healing as a person, which will hopefully become more apparent as we near the end. Okay, hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love and Lies: Part 8/11...

 

Belle didn't bother knocking on Emma's dressing room door. She walked right in and found her sitting on her couch, staring at her engagement ring.

"What were you thinking?" Belle asked, as she sat down beside her.

Emma met her eyes. "Most people just say congratulations."

"I am not going to congratulate you on making the biggest mistake of your life, Emma."

"He was down on one knee with a ring in front of everyone. What was I supposed to say?"

"No! You were supposed to say no. You were supposed to say I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with another man."

Emma sighed heavily. "And humiliate August like that? Break his heart? I couldn't do that to him."

"And you don't think it will break his heart when he finds out his fiancée doesn't love him? That she loves another man?"

"He's never going to find that out. Killian and I... whatever we had, whatever I felt for him...it's in the past. I've put it behind me. I am committed to August. I am committed to making things between us work."

"Emma, it's been five years. If you were going to fall in love with August you would have a long time ago. This isn't fair to him. You're making him believe in a future based on lies."

Emma felt the tears begin to burn her eyes as the guilt built up inside her. "You don't understand, Belle. When I was a kid in foster care, I used to dream of having a permanent home with someone who loved me and would take care of me. One of my foster mothers used to tell me I didn't deserve love. She said I was nothing and I always would be. She said that's why my parents gave me up. Because I wasn't worth loving. She said no one would ever want me or love me. And I believed her for a long time. Then I met Neal and I thought maybe she was wrong. But he broke my heart and just confirmed my worst fears. So I hid from love, I protected my heart. And when August came along, he was the first person to ever put me first. I thought he was safe and comfortable. He would love me and give me stability. He would never break my heart, never leave me like all the rest. It didn't matter if I returned his feelings because he made me feel like someone for the first time. He made me feel like I deserved love. August can give me the life I've wanted since I was a little girl, Belle."

"If August could give you the life you wanted so badly, Emma, then why didn't you move in with him when he asked you three times? Why didn't you accept his proposal the first two times?"

Emma didn't reply, so Belle went on, as she placed her hand over her friend's.

"I'll tell you why. Because you knew he couldn't give you one thing you deserve: true love. And the happiness that goes along with it."

Emma simply shook her head, as she wiped at the tears on her cheek.

...

"I thought I might find you here," Robin said as he took a stool next to Killian. 

"Drowning my sorrows."

"I heard about what happened on set today. I'm sorry, mate."

Killian took a swig of his drink. "I should have known better. I was doing fine until Emma came along. I went from one woman to the next. My needs were met. Things were simple, uncomplicated."

"But were you happy?"

"Happy is vastly overrated."

"That's the alcohol talking."

"No, that's my broken heart talking. I took a risk and put my heart on the line again and now look at me. I've turned into one of those pathetic, lovesick puppy dogs that I used to pity."

"Emma doesn't love August, Killian. You know that."

"Then why in bloody hell did she agree to marry him?"

"Because she's scared. Broken hearts can only happen if love is involved. August is the safe choice. You're not."

"She was going to take a chance on me until I scared her off. I destroyed my chance with her."

"It's not over until she puts that wedding ring on."

Killian shook his head. "It's over. I'm done. I can't stand the thought of her rejecting me again."

"So you're just giving up then?"

Killian nodded, as he downed the rest of his drink and threw some money on the bar. "That's precisely what I'm going to do."

And with that he exited the bar.

...

The following day, Emma entered her dressing room. Her brow furrowed in confusion at what she saw. Boxes were scattered about Killian's side and he was packing his things into them.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

He didn't look up from his task. "Finally giving you what you've wanted all along. I'm giving you back your dressing room and leaving you alone."

Emma shook her head. "That's not what I want, Killian. I don't want to lose our friendship just because I'm marrying another man."

Killian stopped and looked up at her. “I have plenty of friends, Emma. I don’t want to be just your friend.”

“That’s all I can offer you. I’m sorry,” she replied softly.

“You've been avoiding me for weeks, Emma. It's quite obvious you don't know how to be around me and it hurts far too much for me to be around you. So I am going to make it easier on both of us. Our relationship will return to what you wanted from the beginning: purely professional.

Emma swallowed hard. "But where will you go?"

Killian picked up a box and came to stand in front of her. "Robin has agreed to share his dressing room with me until one becomes available."

"Killian," she said softly. "I don't want things to be like this between us."

"Perhaps you should have considered that before you agreed to marry a man you don't love."

"It's not that simple and you know it. Things never would have worked out between us, Killian."

"How can you be so sure of that?" he asked, his eyes focused on hers.

She shook her head. "Because relationships built on passion never do. We would have burned brightly for a while. Things would have been great. Until the passion died and we were just left with two people who disagree about everything. Who are constantly getting on each other's nerves."

Killian shook his head. "We're more than that, Emma, and you know it. I've told you things I've never told another soul and you've done the same with me. I know parts of you that August never will."

Emma swallowed roughly. “You would have grown tired of me eventually. Just like my parents. Just like every foster family. Or I would have eventually given you a reason to toss me aside like Neal did.”

Killian’s eyes flashed with hurt. “Do you really think so little of me, Emma? Do you truly not grasp the depth of my feelings for you? I’m not them. And I shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of those who came before me. Those who were too foolish to realize what they had in you.”

Emma dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"As am I," he said softly.

He then set the box down and lifted his hand to her chin, so that their gazes met again. 

"Be happy, Emma. Whether you believe it or not, that's all I’ve ever wanted for you. I was just hoping I would be the one to give that to you."

Killian then leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to her lips. He pulled back, bent down to pick up the box, and walked out the door.

Emma lifted her fingers to her lips and then squeezed her eyes closed, as tears began to sting her lids.

...

The following day, Emma headed to the set. She stopped abruptly when her eyes landed on Killian already standing on the stage. He was with Ruby, a new actress hired to play an intern at Eva's company. He ran his hand up her arm and then pushed a stray piece of her hair behind her ear, as he grinned at her. Emma's jaw tightened as she watched them.

"You don't have any right to be jealous," she suddenly heard in her ear.

Emma met Belle's eyes. "Excuse me?"

"I see the way you're looking at Killian and Ruby. You're jealous. But you're engaged, Emma. He can do whatever he likes with whomever he pleases."

"I'm not jealous, Belle," Emma replied with as much conviction as she could manage before walking on stage.

She came to stand beside Killian and Ruby. "Sorry to interrupt. Killian, I was wondering if you wanted to run lines before rehearsal."

"Since when do you want to run lines?"

"Well, it's an important scene today. Our breakup scene. I want to make sure we get the emotion right. I want it to feel real and natural."

Killian met her eyes. "Eva is going to break Tyler's heart. I think I can manage the emotion that comes with that quite well."

With that, he walked away from her. Emma simply sighed.

Twenty minutes later, Gold was calling for them to take their places. Emma and Killian were seated on the couch in her office.

"Tyler, I'm sorry. But I can't do this anymore. I love my husband," Emma said.

"What about your feelings for me?" Killian asked.

The script called for Emma to look him in the eyes but she couldn't. "The way I feel for you doesn't matter. I am married. It's over."

Killian's eyes filled with tears, but he wasn't acting. He brought his hand to her chin and lifted her head so she met his eyes. He improvised the next line.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that. Tell me you don't want me."

Emma stared at him. He was off-script. Her mouth hung open, but no words came out.

"Cut!" Emma suddenly yelled.

Gold's eyes widened. "That's my line!"

Emma stood up abruptly. "Well, then why didn't you say it?! He was off-script."

Killian stood up as Gold approached them. "Because he improved upon what was in the script."

"I don't improvise. You know that," Emma said.

Killian bobbed his head. "That's true. Emma doesn't take risks."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

"You know exactly what that means," Killian whispered.

Emma glared at him. Gold stood awkwardly beside them, staring at them in confusion. 

Emma simply shook her head and then stormed off set. Killian watched her go.

Gold called after Emma. "Where in bloody hell are you going?! We need to finish the scene!"

But Emma never looked back.

...

Killian approached Ruby in the cafeteria. "May I join you?"

Ruby smiled and nodded. "Please."

Killian sat down across from her. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow night."

Ruby nodded enthusiastically. "I'd love to." Her smile faded a moment later. "But I don't want to step on any toes." 

Killian's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I know I'm new here, but it's pretty clear to me that there's something going on between you and Emma."

Killian dropped his eyes. "Perhaps you haven't heard. Emma is engaged to August."

"Oh, I guess I must have misread the situation," Ruby said. "Well, in that case, I'd love to go out with you."

Emma stopped dead in her tracks when she overheard Killian's voice as she headed to her table in the cafeteria.

"It's a date then," he said. 

Emma's heart dropped into her stomach, even though she knew she had no right to feel that way.

...

A few nights later, Emma and August were eating dinner at their favorite restaurant. 

Emma stared at her bowl of pasta, as she pushed its contents around with her fork. 

August cleared his throat. "So I was thinking we could set a date for our wedding tonight."

Emma's head shot up. "What?"

"I want to set a date, Emma."

Emma swallowed roughly. "Already? We just got engaged."

August reached across the table and took her hand in his. "Emma, I can't wait to marry you. I've been waiting five years. I want to set a date and I don't want a long engagement."

"How soon were you thinking?" she asked.

"June."

Emma's eyes widened. "June? That's only a few months away."

"I know it's soon, but I don't see any reason to wait."

Emma felt her palms begin to sweat. This all felt too real now. "Well, um, weddings take a long time to plan. And I'm so busy working that I just don't have time to plan a wedding right now." 

August shrugged. "So we'll hire a wedding planner. She or he can do all of the work."

Emma's mouth hung open. She couldn't think of another excuse. She thought she would have a lot more time to get used to the idea of marrying him.

"So what do you say?"

Just then, Emma heard her phone ding. She looked down and saw that it was a Google alert. She had set it to notify her when the show or any of its cast were mentioned online. She didn’t want to be blindsided again.

Emma clicked on the alert. Her eyes widened as it brought her to a soap gossip site. The same one that had said she and Killian were having an affair. The headline read: Killian Jones Gets Cozy with New Co-Star.

"What's wrong?" August asked.

Emma didn't even hear him. Her eyes were focused on a picture of Killian and Ruby sitting close to each other in a booth at a restaurant. Ruby's hands were all over him. 

Emma scrolled down to another picture. They were kissing. 

She took a deep breath and then quickly clicked off the site.

"It's Killian, isn't it?"

"What?"

August held up his phone. There was the picture of Ruby and Killian kissing.

"I get the same Google alerts," he said.

Emma dropped her eyes. "Killian can do what he wants."

August nodded. "Yes, he can. My question is why does it concern you?"

"It doesn't."

August laughed mirthlessly. "Don't lie to me, Emma. Not again. You're jealous. You have feelings for him. You always have. Do you even want to marry me?"

Emma licked at her lips nervously. "Of course I do."

"You didn't even want to set a date. Now I know why."

Emma took a deep breath. She looked at the picture August held in his hand. Killian was moving on. She needed to do the same. 

"Let's elope," she spat out.

August's eyes widened. "What?"

"Let's elope. Let's go to Vegas this weekend and get married."

August's brow furrowed. "I don't understand. A few minutes ago, you didn't even want to set a date. You said June was too soon. And now you want to elope this weekend?"

"You were right. Why wait? I don't need a big, expensive wedding. All I need is you. So let's just go to Vegas and do it."

August knew in his heart that Emma was only suggesting they elope because she wanted to forget Killian. But he also knew the longer they waited the more likely she was to change her mind. The more likely she was to give into her feelings for Killian and leave him. He loved Emma. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

"Okay," he said with a nod. "Let's elope."

Emma forced a smile.

…

“You’re eloping?!” Belle said, as she barged into Emma’s dressing room.

“I really have to start locking that door,” Emma muttered. She paused for a moment before looking at Belle. “How did you find that out?”

“August just told me. He was quite surprised you hadn’t told me. So why didn’t you?”

“Because I knew I would get this kind of reaction.”

“And what kind of reaction is that? One where I tell you you’re making a huge mistake?”

“Exactly.”

Belle shook her head. “No, I’m done, Emma. I’ve said my peace. You know how I feel. You’re a big girl and you can make your own choices. I just hope you’re ready to live with them.”

Emma didn’t say a word. There was a part of her that wanted Belle to try to talk her out of it.

Belle came to stand before her and took her hands in hers. “You were just going to take off and get married without me even knowing? I always dreamed of being your maid of honor and you being mine.”

Emma smiled sadly. “Me too. But it’s better this way. I can just focus on August.”

Belle nodded and then pulled her best friend into her arms for a hug. 

...

Emma had one scene left to do with Killian and then she and August would be leaving for Las Vegas, but she was having trouble concentrating. She kept forgetting her lines and they had to keep stopping.

“Take five!” Gold finally yelled in frustration.

“What’s wrong with you?” Killian asked.

“Nothing. I’m just having an off day.”

“Love, we’ve been working together for months now. I’ve never seen you forget your lines. You are annoyingly well-prepared. What’s going on?”

Emma shook her head. “I said nothing. Just drop it.”

“Is it about me and Ruby? What the soap sites reported?”

Emma dropped her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Killian laughed bitterly. “For such a brilliant actress, you are a truly awful liar. I know you get those Google alerts, Emma.”

Emma shrugged. “Okay, fine, I saw it. What are you going to tell me? It’s not what it looked like? They twisted things like they did with us?”

Killian shook his head. “No, it’s exactly what it looked like. Ruby and I are dating. Nice and casual. Simple and uncomplicated.”

“Which means it’s all about sex,” Emma said.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we haven’t had sex yet,” Killian said.

“That must be a record for you. What’s it been like, a week?”

“Why do you care?” Killian asked.

“I don’t.”

“You’re engaged. Our relationship is purely professional. My personal life is none of your business.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.” She paused and then added, as she met his eyes. “But just so you know. That isn’t what’s distracting me today.”

“Then what is?”

Emma swallowed hard. “August and I are eloping this weekend.”

Killian’s mouth dropped open in shock. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“And when did you come to this sudden decision?”

“The other day.”

Killian bobbed his head. “Let me guess. It was the same day those soap sites picked up the story about me and Ruby.”

“The two have nothing to do with each other.”

Killian leaned in toward her. “Bloody hell, Emma. What are you doing? You couldn’t even tell the guy you love him after five years. It took three proposals for you to say yes. But now you’re suddenly in a rush to marry him?”

“August didn’t want to wait and I didn’t see any reason to either.”

Killian shook his head. “It all makes sense now. You’re trying to forget about me. You don’t want to give yourself a chance to back out, a chance to change your mind. A chance to face your fears about us and give us an opportunity to have something real.”

“You’re wrong,” she replied softly. 

“Don’t do this, Emma, please,” Killian said, his voice edged with desperation.

Emma stared at him, but then was thrown from her thoughts by the sound of Gold’s voice. 

“Okay, take it from the top.”

…

“Robin said I might find you here,” Belle said, as she sat down on a stool beside Killian.

He nodded. “I’ve become quite the regular.”

“She’s gone, you know. They had a 5 o’clock flight. I saw you bolt from set as soon as you finished.”

Killian stared into the dark liquid. “When’s the wedding?”

“Tomorrow. 1 o’clock. At some place called The Little Love Chapel. She promised to send me a picture when it’s over.”

“She deserves better than this, Belle. After everything she’s been through in her life, Emma deserves to have a real wedding with all of the people who love her.”

Belle nodded. “She deserves to be with the man she loves.”

Killian looked over at her. “I tried. Believe me, I tried. Your best friend is the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.”

Belle laughed. “Oh, I know. But it comes from a place of fear. All of her choices are a result of her fear of being abandoned and having her heart broken again.” Belle paused, her eyes scanning his face. “Did you ever tell her you love her?”

Killian shook his head. “Not in so many words. But I made my feelings for her extremely clear.”

“She needs to hear the words, Killian,” Belle said.

“I doubt it would make a bit of difference. They’re just words. The same ones Neal said and he broke her heart.”

Belle nodded. “You’re right. Actions speak louder than words. Go to her.”

Killian’s eyes widened. “You want me to go to Las Vegas and stop Emma’s wedding?”

Belle shook her head. “No, I want you to go to Las Vegas and tell Emma you love her and that you want a relationship with her. And then let her make her choice. Show her how much you care, Killian. Everyone has always left her. Show her you’ll be the one to go after her, you’ll be the one to stay.”

Killian swallowed roughly. “I don’t know, Belle.”

“Would you prefer to drink yourself silly all weekend while the woman you love marries another man?”

Killian felt a smile curl his lips. “What time’s the next flight?”

Belle grinned. “8. If you hurry, you can make it.”

Killian nodded and stood up. He threw some money on the bar and placed a quick kiss on Belle’s cheek. 

“Thank you,” he said.

Belle smiled as she watched him go.

…

End of Part 8  
Thanks for reading! I’d appreciate any feedback you’d like to give! ~Steph


	9. Part 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part! Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

...Love and Lies: Part 9/11...

"Emma? Emma?" August said.

Emma looked up from the Blackjack hand that she had been staring blankly at for the last few minutes.

"What?" she asked.

"It's your turn," August said.

"Oh, uh, hit me," she said to the dealer.

August's eyes widened. Her cards added up to 20. She should have stayed. The dealer put down a five and she went bust.

"I'm done," Emma said, as she stood up and walked away from the table.

August followed after her. "Are you feeling okay? You've been preoccupied since we got here."

Emma nodded. "Of course. I just can't wait until our ceremony."

August glanced down at his watch and then took her hand in his. "Only a couple of more hours."

Emma managed a smile.

...

Killian finally arrived in Las Vegas. His flight the night before had been cancelled and then his flight that morning had been delayed. Killian wondered if it was a sign that he was making a mistake. He briefly considered turning back around and getting right back on a flight to L.A.

He looked at his watch. It was noon. In an hour, Emma would be a married woman. He knew he had to try to stop her or he would regret it the rest of his life.

Killian hurried to find a taxi.

...

Emma and August entered The Little Love Chapel. It was the least tacky chapel they could find on the entire Strip. Still, it left a lot to be desired. It basically consisted of one room filled with folding chairs and an archway at the end of the aisle. Fake flowers littered the aisle and adorned the archway.

August looked at Emma's face as she took it all in.

"Are you sure about getting married here, Emma? We can go back to L.A. and plan a nice, small, simple wedding."

Emma shook her head sharply. "No, I need to do this now."

August's brow furrowed at her odd wording, but he didn't say anything. They walked hand in hand down the aisle to where the minister stood. He was dressed all in white with a pink bow tie and matching cummerbund. 

"Shall we begin?" he asked.

They both nodded, as they faced each other and joined hands.

Emma took a deep breath. She felt her heart beating faster and her palms grow sweaty. She suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. Her face paled as she looked down at her shoes. She didn’t hear a word the minister said.

"Emma, are you okay?" August whispered.

She didn't even hear him. All she could hear were Belle and Killian's voices ringing in her ears that she was making a huge mistake. 

She knew she should turn around and run out of there. But she also knew it would break August's heart.

"Emma? Emma?" August repeated.

Emma finally shook her head and took another deep breath. 

She met August's eyes and nodded. "I'm fine."

The minister went on. "Emma, do you take August to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

In that moment, Emma went into acting mode. She pretended she was Eva and she was renewing her vows to Tad. She knew it was the only way she was going to make it through this.

"I do," she managed.

"August, do you take Emma to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

August stared at Emma. He had loved her for five years. He had dreamt of this day, of this moment. He had imagined a future with her. But as he looked into her eyes, he didn’t see love shining back. He didn’t see the happiness or excitement that should accompany getting married. In that moment, he knew in his heart that this wasn't right. He had been denying it for a long time, believing that maybe things could change if he just gave her enough time. But he realized now that he was holding onto a dream that was not meant to be. 

"August?" the minister said. 

Emma looked at him, her brow furrowing in confusion. 

He opened his mouth to speak. "I...I don't."

The minister's eyes widened and Emma's mouth dropped open. 

"What?" she said.

"Emma, I can't marry you," he said.

Emma swallowed roughly. "Is it because we eloped? Do you regret not having your family and friends here? Do you regret not having a real wedding?"

August shook his head. "No, I don't care about any of that."

"Then what is it?"

He met her eyes. "This isn't right. We both know it, Emma."

"I don't understand. I thought you wanted to marry me."

"I do. More than anything."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You don't want to marry me," he whispered. 

“Of course I do,” she replied weakly, as she sucked in a breath.

"No, you don't. You're not in love with me, Emma."

"August, please don't do this." 

Emma felt like she was being abandoned once more.

He shook his head. "I'm stopping us both from making a big mistake. I’m doing what you can’t bring yourself to do. We could probably have a good life together. A safe, easy life. But you would never be happy, Emma. Not truly. And I deserve a woman who will love me like I love her."

"I...I don't know what to say," Emma replied.

"I didn’t want to accept it, but I have to now. You're in love with another man, Emma. He would always be between us. As hard as this is, I need to let you go."

Emma felt the tears begin to slip down her face. He was right. She knew he was right. And she also knew that he wasn't leaving her or tossing her aside like the rest before him. Those people had never loved her or cared for. August did and he was doing this because he knew she didn't have the strength or courage to do it herself. 

She stepped forward and brought her hand up to his cheek.

"I never meant to hurt you," she said softly.

"I know. You can't help how you feel. You can't control who you love. Trust me, I know."

"August, I'm so sorry."

"Just promise me you'll find a way to be happy," he said.

"I promise," she said.

But she was beginning to wonder if she even knew how to be happy. 

August leaned down and pressed his lips to Emma's in a goodbye kiss.

Killian ran through the doors of the chapel and stopped dead in his tracks at the beginning of the aisle. His gaze landed at the end of the aisle. Killian's heart sank into his stomach as he watched Emma and August kiss. 

He was too late. They were married.

Killian felt tears sting his eyes as he slowly turned around and headed back outside. Once outside, he leaned against the door and squeezed his eyes closed. He never even got the chance to tell her he loved her and now he had lost her for good.

Emma and August separated. "Goodbye, Emma," he said.

"Goodbye," she whispered, as she watched him walk down the aisle.

Emma stood there all alone, tears cascading down her face. She had forgotten the minister was even there. She slowly sank down into one of the chairs and allowed her tears to come in full force.

The minister cleared his throat. "I know this is a bad time to bring this up, but you still have to pay for the ceremony. I will be able to offer you a left-at-the-altar discount though. 10% off."

Emma simply stared at him.

... 

Killian sat on the plane waiting for it to take off to L.A. He was staring at a picture of Emma on his phone. It was from one of those soap gossip sites and it was taken after her Emmy win. She looked so happy. She was smiling from ear-to-ear. 

He ran his thumb across her face, wondering where they went from here. How was he supposed to see her everyday at work? How was he supposed to deal with knowing that every night the woman he loved went home to another man, to her husband? How was he supposed to kiss her and pretend to make love to her and not feel anything? He didn’t know if he was that good of an actor.

Killian clicked off the site and placed his phone in his pocket. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his seat. He had put his heart on the line for a second time with Emma and he had gotten it broken. He knew what he needed to do now. Killian knew he needed to go back to the man he was before he fell in love with Emma Swan. It was the only way he could go on without her. 

Killian pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit Ruby’s number.

She answered on the second ring. “Hi, Killian.”

Ruby had no idea where he’d been or what he’d been up to.

“Hi, Ruby. I was wondering if you’d like to come to my place for dinner tonight.”

Ruby smiled. “I’d love to.”

“How does 7 sound?” Killian asked.

“Sounds great, I’ll see you then,” Ruby said.

Killian bid her goodbye and ended the call. Ruby was just what he needed to forget Emma.

…

Emma sat on the plane, her stomach in knots. What was she supposed to tell everyone when she came home unmarried and no longer with August? What was she supposed to say to Killian?

Killian. She was now free to pursue a relationship with him. August had let her go. She no longer had to worry about hurting him. But the safe, stable life she had always dreamt of had vanished. Pursuing a relationship with Killian meant putting her heart on the line again. Could she really risk that?

Emma could feel the gaze of the old woman sitting next to her fixed upon her face.

"Are you all right, sweetheart? You seem anxious."

Emma offered her a small smile. "Thank you for your concern. I, uh, well...I was supposed to get married today."

"Oh, dear, what happened?"

Emma swallowed hard. She wasn't really comfortable talking to a stranger about her love life. But the woman had such a kind, sweet face. She seemed like one of those wise, old women who had experienced much in life and knew how to dispense astute advice. She figured it couldn't hurt.

"My fiancé broke things off when he realized I wasn't in love with him. He knew I was in love with another man. Now I'm on my way home and I don't really know where I go from here."

The old woman looked at her for a long moment. Emma waited for her sage advice, maybe a comforting pat of her hand.

The woman's eyes narrowed at Emma, her gaze scrutinizing her face.

"Wait a doggone minute. You're the lady from my story, Love & Lies. Aren't you?"

Emma chuckled and nodded. "Yes, Emma Swan. I play Eva."

The woman's kind smile turned into a scowl.

"I hate you. You're cheating on that sweet husband of yours."

Emma's eyes widened. "Remember, I just play a character. I'm only acting."

"Now don't get me wrong. That boy you're stepping out with is easy on the eyes, but you're being a real bitch to Tad."

Emma's mouth hung open. That was not how she expected this to go.

"Again, it's called acting. In real life, I-..."

The woman cut her off. "In real life, you were about to marry one guy while in love with another. Sounds like you and your character are cut from the same cloth."

Emma snapped her mouth shut. The old woman was right. She and her character had been treating the men in their lives terribly. 

In that moment, Emma made a decision. When she got home, she was going to put an end to that once and for all. She needed to stop hiding from love and take a risk. She needed to stop letting fear control her and influence her choices. Emma knew it was time to stop running. She was going to tell Killian she loved him and wanted a relationship with him. 

Emma turned to the old woman and smiled. "Thank you."

The old woman simply stared at her, unsure of why she was thanking her.

...

Killian opened the door to find Ruby wearing a skintight red dress.

"Hello, Killian," she said.

He offered her a grin. "Hello. Please come in."

Ruby entered his house. "Nice place. So what's for dinner? Did you cook?"

Killian stepped closer to her. He took a strand of her hair and twirled it between his fingers. 

"Actually, I was thinking we could start with dessert."

Before Ruby could respond, Killian was cupping her face and pressing his mouth to hers. He set a feverish pace that Ruby couldn't keep up with. She placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away, as she gasped for air.

She met his eyes. "What's gotten into you?"

Killian shook his head. "Nothing. I just want to be with you tonight."

Killian's lips were on hers again as his hands trailed down to her hips. He guided them to his couch and sat down. Ruby settled in his lap, straddling his hips.

Killian moved his lips to her neck, as his hand reached up to the strap of her dress and began to slide it down her shoulder.

Suddenly, a ding sounded on both of their phones.

"Ignore it," Killian muttered against Ruby's skin.

But Ruby glanced down at his cell phone which lay on the table beside them and read the Google alert aloud: Emma Swan Spotted at Vegas Chapel with On-screen and Off-screen Love."

Ruby pulled back from him. "Did you know August and Emma were getting married today?"

Killian swallowed hard, as he struggled to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "I don't care what Emma does."

Killian reached up and cupped Ruby's face to pull her back down to him, but she pulled away.

Her brow furrowed at him. "Yes, you do. It's written all over your face."

"I haven’t a clue what you're talking about."

Ruby laughed mirthlessly. "It makes sense now. Calling me out of the blue today and then jumping my bones as soon as I walked in the door. You were using me to try to forget about Emma."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Ruby climbed off his lap and pulled the strap of her dress up. "I was right."

"About what?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"When you asked me out and I told you I sensed that something was going on between you and Emma. I was right."

Killian sighed heavily and shrugged. "Okay, fine, you were right."

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Killian slowly nodded. "Aye."

"And I was your distraction."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Killian said.

Ruby nodded. "I know. But I'm not the one hurting right now. The look in your eyes tells me you're in a world of pain." She paused and then asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Killian's eyes widened. "I can't believe you'd want to have anything to do with me ever again."

Ruby shrugged. "You don't need a woman in your bed tonight, Killian. You need a friend."

"Thank you," he replied softly.

She placed her hands on her hips. "So I'm guessing there's no dinner."

"You're quite perceptive."

"How about I whip us up some pasta and you can tell me all about how Emma Swan broke your heart?”

Killian nodded. "That sounds great. Thank you."

Ruby moved to his kitchen. He heard her banging things around and opening and closing cabinets. Killian picked up his phone and clicked on the Google alert. He swallowed hard at the sight of Emma and August entering the chapel hand in hand.

Tonight was their wedding night. Killian squeezed his eyes closed as he tried to ward off images of Emma lying in bed beside August, his ring on her finger.

His thoughts were interrupted by a crash in the kitchen. Killian's eyes flew open and he jumped up from the couch.

"Ruby, are you okay?" he asked, as he entered the kitchen.

Ruby's face filled with red. "Fine, just embarrassed and perpetually clumsy. I dropped a jar of sauce. I'm sorry."

Killian looked at the mess of glass and sauce on the floor. Ruby's dress was also covered in marinara.

"At least it matches your dress," Killian replied with a chuckle.

Ruby laughed. "Could be worse. It could clash."

"I'll clean this up. Go into my bedroom and look in the top drawer of the dresser. You'll find a clean t-shirt in there."

"Thank you," she said.

...

Emma sat in the taxi, staring out the window. She was on her way to Killian's. She had thought about waiting until tomorrow but she was afraid of losing her nerve. She didn't want to give herself time to come up with excuses and talk herself out of it.

Emma thought about Belle. She would be so happy that she had finally come to her senses and made the right choice. Belle must have been worried by now. She told her she would send her a wedding picture hours ago. She picked up her phone and scrolled through her favorites until she found her name. Her finger hovered above Belle's name, but she hesitated. She knew she only wanted to call Belle so she could assure her she was making the right choice. Belle would encourage her, just like she always did. She had been her voice of reason for 16 years. Emma relied on her, but she was starting to realize that she needed to stand on her own two feet. She needed to do this on her own.

Just then, Emma's phone started ringing. Belle's name appeared on the screen. They must have been thinking about each other at the same time. Emma almost hit the accept button, but resisted. She watched as the phone eventually stopped ringing. Emma waited for a voicemail or text to follow but none ever did. She figured Belle probably assumed she and August were too busy celebrating their wedding night.

Emma returned her eyes to the window. She was almost there.

...

Ruby took a sip of her wine. "Wow, you've got it real bad for Emma."

Killian nodded. "I never expected it to happen, but it did. And now I can't imagine my life without her."

"But now she's married."

"I saw it with my own eyes. Well, the end at least. The kiss."

Ruby's eyes widened. "You went to Vegas today?"

He nodded. "I was going to tell her I love her and I want to be with her. And then she would have had a choice to make."

"But you didn't get there in time."

Killian shook his head. "No, I didn't. And now I have to find a way to move on."

Ruby nodded. "You know the answer isn't to revert back to your womanizing ways, right? Emma wouldn't want you to give up on love again."

Killian downed the rest of his wine. "Too late. I can't go through this ever again."

"Killian, your love for Emma and her love for you, changed you. There's no going back."

"Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to face seeing Emma everyday and deal with being involved with her on-screen."

"You'll find a way. And I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"But I am a firm believer in fate. If you and Emma are meant to be, then you will be. Marriage or no marriage."

Killian shook his head. "I wish I believed as you do."

…

Emma stood outside Killian's house. She was battling her nerves and the doubts in her head. If the taxi hadn't already left, then she probably would have climbed right back in. 

What if he rejected her again? What if she had hurt him one too many times and he wouldn't give her another chance? 

Emma took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She needed to do this. She needed to take a chance for once. Emma slowly walked up to his door. She was about to ring the bell, when something caught her eye in the glass window pane beside the door.

Emma's mouth hung open and her eyes filled with tears at what she saw. Killian and Ruby were sitting on the floor in his living room beside a roaring fire, eating dinner and sipping wine. Ruby was wearing nothing but one of Killian's t-shirts. 

It seemed obvious to Emma that they had just had sex and worked up an appetite. But this didn't look like some casual relationship that was just about sex. They looked as if they were engaged in an intimate conversation. It looked like the start of a real relationship.

Emma slowly backed away from the door as tears blurred her eyes. She hurried down the walkway. The tears stung Emma's eyes as she walked down the sidewalk. 

Killian had moved on. He had found someone to give him what she couldn't. And she knew she had no one to blame but herself.

...  
End of Part 9 

Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to give! ~Steph


	10. Part10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part! And thank you to some new readers who were catching up and left feedback on previous chapters. I appreciate it! Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love and Lies: Part 10/11...

 

Emma stood outside Belle's house and rang the doorbell. Belle opened the door a moment later.

Belle's eyes widened at the sight of her best friend. "Emma, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in Vegas?"

Belle silently hoped that Killian had gotten there in time and Emma had finally made the right choice.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Of course," Belle replied, as she stepped aside and allowed her entrance.

Belle closed the door behind her and followed Emma to the couch.

"What happened?" Belle asked.

"August and I didn't get married." 

Belle tried to hide her smile. "So Killian got there in time then."

Emma's brow furrowed. "What?"

It was Belle's turn to look confused. "To Las Vegas."

Emma's eyes grew wide. "Killian came to Vegas?"

Both women stared at each other in confusion. Belle shook her head. "Yes, I convinced him that he needed to tell you he loved you. I knew you needed to actually hear those words. I told him he needed to tell you that he wanted a relationship with you. I said then you could make your choice."

Emma shook her head in shock. "I never saw Killian, Belle."

“I don’t understand what happened.” Belle scratched at her forehead and then smiled. "So then you must have realized you were making a mistake on your own and called it off."

Emma sighed heavily. "I didn't call off the wedding."

"What do you mean?"

"August did."

Belle's mouth dropped open. "He did?"

Emma nodded. "He had the courage to do what I didn't. He knew things weren't right between us. He knew I wasn't in love with him. And he knew I'm in love with Killian."

Belle grinned and threw her arms around her friend. "I am so glad one of you finally came to your senses!"

Emma nodded as they parted. "And on the plane I realized I needed to stop being scared and take a risk on a future with Killian."

Belle was on the edge of her seat. "So what did you do?"

"I went to his house."

Belle was almost bouncing with excitement. "Tell me everything. Don't leave anything out. What did you say? What did he say?"

"I didn't say anything," Emma replied softly.

Belle finally realized that her best friend was anything but happy and excited. "Why not? What happened?"

"When I got there, I saw him and Ruby through the window. She was wearing his t-shirt and they were having a romantic dinner in front of the fire. Obviously, they had just had sex. But it was more than that. It was clear they were having an intimate conversation."

"Okay, hold on. You're assuming an awful lot from a glimpse through a window."

"It was obvious they are starting a real relationship. She’s giving him what I couldn’t."

"It doesn't make any sense. I know he went to Vegas determined to tell you he loved you and wanted to be with you. I thought the gesture of him going all the way there would show you how serious he was."

Emma shrugged sadly. "I don’t know. Maybe he changed his mind. And maybe I just avoided making another big mistake. How true could his feelings have been for me if he’s already moving on with Ruby?"

"You’re jumping to conclusions, Emma. I think you need to talk to Killian. There may be more to the story."

"I'm not sure I can bear to hear it."

"I think you owe it to yourself and Killian to hear him out."

Emma simply nodded.

...

On Monday morning, Emma knocked on Robin's and Killian's dressing room door. Killian answered.

"Emma," he began, his eyebrows peaking in surprise. "I...I didn't expect to see you here today. I thought you and August would spend a few days in Vegas on your honeymoon."

"Can I come in?" she asked. "I want to talk."

Killian nodded and allowed her entrance. She stood in front of him.

"Did you come to Vegas?" she asked.

Killian's mouth hung open for a second. "Who told you that?"

"Just answer the question."

He slowly bobbed his head. "Aye, I did."

Emma shook her head in disbelief. "I don't understand. I never saw you."

Killian’s lips turned downward. "I was there. At the chapel. I saw you and August kiss. I arrived too late. You were already married."

Emma's eyes grew wide. "Oh my God. You saw that?"

"Aye, that I did." He paused, swallowing hard. "I suppose congratulations are in order."

Emma shook her head, as she met his eyes. "We didn't get married, Killian."

Killian's brow furrowed in confusion, as his heart simultaneously leapt for joy in his chest. "But I witnessed you-..."

"What you witnessed was a goodbye kiss."

"You called it off?" he asked.

"No, August did," she replied.

Killian's chest deflated. "So if he hadn't then you would have married him?"

"Yes," Emma responded softly.

Killian bit at his lower lip anxiously. "Then nothing has really changed for you. You're still scared to take a chance on me and us."

Emma shook her head. "Actually, no."

Killian's eyes brightened. "No?"

"While flying back, I realized I needed to stop hiding behind my fears and take a chance on you...on us."

Killian felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster. He had been waiting so long to hear those words from her, but he sensed something wasn’t right. 

He inhaled deeply. "Is that why you're here right now?"

Emma shook her head. "No, that's why I showed up at your house last night."

Killian's eyebrows arched. "What? You came to my home last night?"

Emma blinked back sudden tears. "I saw you, Killian. I saw you and Ruby all cozy in front of the fire. You were having a romantic dinner, engaged in an intimate conversation all while she was wearing nothing but your t-shirt."

Killian sucked in a ragged breath. "You're reading the situation incorrectly."

"You must have just had sex, but this wasn't your usual M.O. I could tell you were starting a real relationship with her."

"You're mistaken, Emma."

"So set me straight then."

Killian licked at his lips nervously. "Ruby came over and I...I was going to have sex with her. I wanted to forget about you, Emma."

"You didn't have sex? Why was she wearing your t-shirt then?"

"We didn’t have sex. She had a spill so I gave her my shirt."

Emma sighed in relief. "You stopped yourself then. You realized it was a mistake to use Ruby to forget about me."

Killian dropped his eyes. "No, Ruby stopped us. Once she realized I was hurting because I thought you were married."

Emma bobbed her head, as her chest began to burn. She spoke weakly. "So you would have gone through with it?"

Killian nodded slowly, unable to meet her eyes. "Aye, but you need to understand what I was going through. I thought I had lost you, Emma. I just wanted the pain to stop for one night. And the intimate conversation you saw us engaged in? We were talking about you. Ruby was just being a friend."

Emma sucked in a shaky breath. She was relieved to know she had misjudged what she saw, but it had shed light on some hard truths.

She sighed heavily. "This isn't about Ruby, Killian. It's about us. It’s about me. I was going to marry another man and you were going to sleep with another woman all because of circumstances I created."

"They were misunderstandings, Emma. We both know the truth now."

Emma shook her head, as she furiously blinked back tears. "It's a sign. It has to be. If it's this hard to even start a relationship, then how can we expect to make one work? It shouldn't be this hard, Killian. Maybe we were never meant to be."

“Don’t say that,” Killian breathed, as he stepped forward and cupped her face in his hands. "I love you, Emma."

Emma felt her heart catch in her chest as he professed his love to her for the first time.

"Killian," she whispered.

"Please, just listen to me. I never expected this to happen, but falling in love with you is the best thing that ever happened to me. I know you’ve been hurt and you’ve put up walls because of it. But you let me knock some of those walls down, Emma. I know if you let me in, we could have something incredible. I know you want a guarantee, but I can’t give that to you. I can only promise that I will love you with all that I am. I know things won't always be easy, but I can't stand the thought of never getting the chance to be with you."

Killian pressed a kiss to Emma's lips as tears streamed down her face. 

He pulled back and met her eyes. "Just give us a chance, Emma. Please.”

Emma stepped away from him and shook her head. "I’m sorry I hurt you, Killian. I‘m sorry for everything I put you through. But you deserve more than I can give you. You deserve better than me.” 

“That’s not true,” he said. “You’re the only woman I want.”

“I need to go,” she breathed, as her eyes dropped to the ground. 

“You’ve spent your whole life feeling unworthy, feeling like you didn’t deserve love. But you do, Emma.”

“I don’t deserve you,” she replied shakily, as she made a move to leave.

“You do. We deserve each other.” Killian took her hands in his, stopping her movement. “Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me you don’t love me. If you can do that, then I’ll let you go.”

Emma dropped her gaze to the ground. “Please, Killian. This is hard enough as it is.”

“You can’t do it, can you? You love me, Emma. I know you do. And I love you. We both deserve a chance to be with the one we love. That’s all that matters. We will deal with everything else that comes our way together.”

Emma pulled her hands out of his. “Goodbye,” she whispered.

"Emma, don't do this, please," he cried out desperately. 

But Emma turned on her heel and walked out the door.

...

The following day, Emma and Killian arrived on set at the same time. Their eyes met for a long, awkward moment, before they turned away from each other.

They were both dreading the scene they were about to film. August’s character was going to catch their characters in bed together at the home he shared with Eva. The scene would be uncomfortable on many levels. Emma and August had just ended their relationship, but August still loved Emma. And Killian and Emma had just put the final nail in their relationship that was never to be. 

“Places, dearies!” Gold yelled. “Emma, Killian, under the covers.”

Emma slipped out of her robe, revealing a strapless bra and panties. Killian did the same, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs. They stared at each other for a moment and then hesitated before moving to the bed. They finally slipped under the covers.

“Emma, place your head on Killian’s chest. Killian, drape your arm across Emma’s back.”

Emma sucked in a breath as she pressed her body to Killian’s and lay her head down on his chest. She could hear his heart beating in his chest and she knew that she could spend the rest of her life right there, listening to that sound.

Killian felt his heart speed up at Emma’s touch. He lifted his arm and wrapped it around her. He was amazed at how she seemed to fit perfectly. It was as if his arms were made to hold her.

“Action!” Gold screamed.

“So,” Killian began. “Does this mean we’re back together?”

Emma smiled. “I guess so. I just can’t stay away from you, Tyler.”

Just then, the door flew open and August came charging in. “I knew it!”

Emma and Killian bolted up in bed. Emma pulled the sheets up around her. 

“Tad, what are you doing here?” she asked.

“You mean in my own home? In my own bedroom? The bedroom we share, Eva?”

August moved to the side of the bed and hauled Killian out of it. Emma watched as his eyes flared. She wondered just how much of this was acting. 

Killian held up his hands. “I love her. I’m sorry, I never meant-…”

August raised his fist and punched Killian in the jaw. Emma’s eyes widened, as Killian stumbled backward and fell to the ground. 

Soap fights were always well choreographed. They were made to look real, but the actors never actually made contact with each other. But Killian’s cry of pain and the thud everyone heard indicated August had really hit him.

“Bloody hell!” Gold yelled. “Cut!”

August stood over Killian, as Emma scrambled out of bed and came to his side. She cradled his face in her hands, wincing at his bloody lip. 

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better, love.”

Emma glared up at August. “What were you thinking? You could’ve really hurt him!”

August shrugged. “I guess I just got caught up in the moment.”

Emma stood up and faced him. “I don’t understand. This isn’t like you.”

August’s eyes filled with tears. “Yeah, well, I’ve never had a broken heart before.”

Emma’s expression softened. “I’m sorry, August. I really am. But you broke things off, not me.”

He nodded. “I did, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I thought I would be a married man today. I dreamt of a life with you, Emma. And now it’s all gone. That’s hard to accept.” 

“I am so sorry.”

August sucked in a breath. “I guess I just needed to get that out of my system.”

He slowly stepped forward and offered Killian his hand. 

Killian stared at it for a moment, before slipping his hand into his. August helped him up.

“I’m sorry,” August said. “I shouldn’t have hit you.”

Killian rubbed at his jaw. “Thank you, mate.”

August offered him a lopsided grin, as he flexed his hand. “If it’s any consolation, my hand hurts like hell.”

Killian chuckled. His laugh quickly subsided though and his expression grew serious. “I’m sorry too. I never meant to come between you and Emma.”

August nodded. “If what we had was meant to be, then you wouldn’t have been able to.” He paused and then added softly, while glancing at Emma. “Be good to her. Don’t break her heart.”

Emma dropped her eyes. 

Killian sighed heavily. “Not to worry, mate. It’s not mine to break.”

With that, Killian walked off-stage.

August looked at Emma. “I’m surprised. I figured you would have run straight to Killian after our wedding that wasn’t.”

“It’s complicated,” she said.

“Do you love him?” August asked.

“August, I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with you.”

“I still care about you, Emma. I want you to be happy. I’m asking as your friend.”

Emma slowly nodded. “Yes, I love him.”

“Then it’s not complicated. It’s simple. Get out of your own way and be with him.”

August turned on his heel and walked off set, as Emma watched him go.

…

One week passed. Emma and Killian were both a mess. Emma was snapping at everyone in sight and Killian couldn’t concentrate on anything. Even worse, things were tense on set with Emma being forced to work with both her ex-fiancé and the man she loved, but had rejected. 

She had always loved coming to work. Now she dreaded it. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

Emma was already on set when Killian arrived. He didn’t say a word to her. 

“Take your places,” Gold said.

Emma and Killian moved to the couch.

“Action!”

Killian took Emma’s hand in his. His touch never failed to produce goose bumps on her skin.

“Eva, we can be together now. No more hiding. No more lying. No more secrets.”

“It’s not that simple, Tyler. Tad is my husband. I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already have.”

“But you love me,” Killian said, as he looked deep into her eyes. 

Emma’s mouth hung open. She was supposed to say she loved him, but no words came out. It felt too strange to look into Killian’s eyes and say those words now, when she had refused to a week earlier. 

Killian stared at her. Emma finally shook her head. “I can’t do this.”

Killian’s eyes widened. She was off-script. She never went off-script.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

Emma stood up and shook her head. “This is all wrong. I can’t say this.”

“Cut!” Gold yelled, as he ran over to them. “What is going on, Emma?”

“I…I can’t say that I love him.”

Gold sighed heavily. “You’re not saying it. Your character is.”

Killian stood up, his gaze flitting across her face.

Emma licked at her lips nervously. “That’s what I meant. Eva can’t say this. She wouldn’t. It’s out of character. She…she still loves her husband.”

Gold ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. “Not this again. You need to say what is in the script.”

Emma’s jaw clenched. “It’s not right for the character.”

Gold threw his hands up. “For God’s sake, take five and get yourself together. The line stays. Do the job this show pays you quite handsomely to do.”

With that, he walked away. Emma was about to follow him, when she felt Killian’s hand grasp her elbow.

“What the devil was that?” he asked sharply.

Emma met his eyes. “I know my character. And she wouldn’t just say something because a man expected her to. This entire relationship between Eva and Tyler has been forced. The show has tried to turn an attraction into love just because the audience likes us together. It’s not right.”

“Bloody hell, Emma. This isn’t about the show or Eva and Tyler’s relationship. This is about us.”

Emma groaned. “Not everything is about you, Killian.”

“I said us, not me. You’re trying to convince yourself that what we had wasn’t real. That it was simply an attraction that we made into something more. Will that make it easier for you, Emma? Will it make it easier for you to sleep at night?”

“I’m sleeping just fine, thank you.”

Killian stepped closer to her, his breath hot on her skin. His eyes were fixed upon hers. “I don’t believe you. I think you lie awake at night thinking of me. I think you imagine my lips on yours, the feel of my skin. And when you finally manage to fall asleep I think you dream of the life we could have had. How good it could have been.”

Emma swallowed around the lump in her throat as she replied weakly, “We‘re not right for each other. I’m not right for you.”

“I don’t believe that,” Killian said. 

Emma freed her arm from his. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said simply before walking away from him.

Killian’s mouth hung open for a long moment. In that moment, Emma knew what she had to do. She couldn’t go on like this. Working everyday with August and Killian was too hard. She headed to Regina’s office.

…

Emma barged into Regina’s office.

“You know, Ms. Swan, there’s a concept called knocking that you might want to familiarize yourself with.”

Emma came to stand in front of her desk. “I quit.”

“Excuse me?” Regina said, arching an eyebrow.

“You heard me.”

“You can’t quit. You have a contract.”

“So sue me. I quit.”

Regina held up her hand. “Okay, calm down. I know things have been complicated for you recently, but the show needs you, Emma. Since we put you and Killian together, our ratings have nearly doubled. We’re about to get renewed. If you leave now, we’ll lose all the ground we’ve gained.”

“I’m sorry, Regina. But I have to think of myself first. This show…I don’t belong here anymore.”

“You’re clearly upset and important decisions should not be made when one is emotionally compromised. Sleep on it and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Emma laughed caustically. “Sleep? I haven’t slept in months. Not really. I hurt one man who did nothing but love and support me and now I’ve hurt another man that I love more than words can say. All because I’m too scared to risk getting my heart broken again. I don’t know. Maybe I’m too damaged to even be in a relationship.”

Regina’s eyes widened. She had never seen Emma like this. Their relationship usually consisted of arguing over her character’s direction. 

Regina bit at her lower lip uncomfortably. “I, uh, don’t have much experience giving advice on love. I haven’t had much luck in that department either. But I do know that no one gets anywhere in life without taking risks, without putting themselves on the line every now and then. You did that when you came here as a foster kid, Emma. You fought your way to the top and you never stopped fighting. You are where you are today because you took a risk. Are you telling me you regret taking that risk?”

Emma shook her head. “Of course not. It was the best decision I ever made.”

Regina nodded. “Then you need to trust that you’ll make the right decision again. Life is all about taking risks.”

Emma bobbed her head. “You’re right.”

“So that means you’ll stay?”

Emma sighed heavily. “No, I need to go. That’s the right decision for me. I’m not the same person I was when I came on this show at 14. I need to figure out who I am now if I want a chance at being happy and I can’t do that here.”

“Emma, you’re making a huge mistake.”

Emma nodded. “Maybe I am, but it’s a risk I have to take.”

With that, Emma walked out of Regina’s office.

…

The next day, Killian knocked on Emma’s dressing room door. He felt awful about their fight the day before. He didn’t want things to be like this between them. 

His brow wrinkled in confusion when Belle answered the door.

“Oh, hi, Belle. Where’s Emma?”

Belle tilted her head to the side. “You haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Emma quit yesterday.”

Killian’s eyes widened. “She quit?”

Belle nodded. “Yes. She asked me to pack up her things for her.”

Killian felt his breath catch in his chest. “Why would she do that?”

Belle shrugged. “You’ll have to ask her. She refused to speak to me about it. But I think working with you and August just became too much for her.”

“I need to talk to her. I must convince her this is a mistake.”

“Good luck. You know how stubborn she is.”

…

Emma woke up for the first time and realized she didn’t have anywhere to be that day. She didn’t have to go to hair and make-up. There were no fittings. No rehearsals. She thought it would feel freeing. After all, she’d been working since she was 14. But she didn’t feel free at all. She felt lost. 

An hour later, the doorbell rang and Emma thankfully pulled herself away from cleaning the refrigerator. She opened the door, surprised to find Killian standing in front of her.

“Killian? What are you doing here?”

He didn’t greet her or ask if he could come in. He just walked past her. 

“What in bloody hell were you thinking quitting?” he asked.

Emma sighed and closed the door. She came to stand in front of him, arms crossed over her chest. 

“I was thinking I needed a change.”

He shook his head. “Don’t lie to me, Emma. This was about working with me and August.”

Emma nodded. “You’re right. At first, it was. I didn’t think I could deal with seeing you both everyday and having to work with you. But as I was talking to Regina, I realized it was more than that. I need to do this for me.”

“Why? Emma, you love your character. You love this show.”

“I do. But I’ve been on there since I was 14. I went from being a foster kid bounced from home to home to starring on TV, practically overnight. I went from being neglected and abused to being adored by millions of fans. And I think a part of me never really grew up because of that. I keep blaming my fears on what happened with Neal and my childhood, but I think the truth is I’m not equipped to deal with relationships. I never learned how.”

He sighed heavily. “I don’t see how quitting your job will help you with that.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I need a fresh start. I need some time alone. And then I hope I can figure out who I really am. I hope I’ll be deserving of a man like you.”

Emma loved him so much that a part of her yearned to throw her arms around him and kiss him. She wanted to tell him that she was ready to give them a chance. But Emma knew that any relationship she started with Killian right now would surely fail. She knew that she needed to understand, love, and accept herself before she could be with anyone.

Killian’s tongue darted out and lashed at his lips. She waited for him to make one more last ditch effort to change her mind. 

But, instead, he said, “I’m proud of you, Emma.”

Her eyebrows peaked. “You are?”

He nodded. “Aye. You’re finally taking a risk. It takes courage to do what you’re doing. I truly hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“Thank you,” she replied softly, as their gazes met and held.

Killian’s heart was breaking, but he knew that loving someone meant supporting them and giving them the freedom to be who they needed to be. 

Killian stepped forward and took her hands in his. “You know where to find me. I hope you know I’ll never stop loving you, Emma. I want to be that man that you can give yourself to completely someday. The man that you can say I love you to and mean it. But if I can’t be, then I hope whoever he is realizes just how lucky he is to have you.”

Emma smiled, as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss to her cheek. 

“Goodbye,” he whispered in her ear.

“Goodbye, Killian,” she said as she watched him go.

Emma looked around her big, empty house and wondered where she went from here.

…  
End of Part 10  
Thanks for reading! I’d appreciate any feedback you’d like to give! ~Steph


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the responses to the last part and the story! I enjoyed reading your passionate thoughts! Hope you enjoy the end! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 11/11...

It had been over two months since Emma had quit “Love & Lies”. She missed all of her cast mates and the crew. She missed the rush she got from acting. But, most of all, she missed Killian. She missed seeing his sparkling blue eyes and gorgeous smile every morning. She missed the way he touched her and how touching him made her feel. She missed sparring with him and having those unexpected moments when they let their guards down and were open with each other. Not being with him was harder than she ever imagined it would be.

In the past two months, Emma had tried to keep busy. She had taken a long awaited trip to Europe all by herself. She took cooking classes and learned how to make pottery. She had always wanted to learn a language so she started taking a French class once a week. Writing had become a passion and a creative outlet for her. She had even started writing a short story. 

Everywhere she went she met new people. She met men who were successful and handsome. They would hit on her and ask her out, but she always turned them down. She had already made the mistake of being with one man while in love with another. She refused to do that again. 

Emma had always had a fear of being left behind. Her parents had abandoned her. None of her foster parents ever wanted her for longer than six months. Neal had turned his back on her when she got pregnant. She was always waiting for the people in her life to leave. That's what made August such a safe choice. She knew he would stay. And that's what made Killian such a risky choice. He seemed like someone who would leave.

But as Emma roamed around Europe or created a meal in cooking class or placed a vase in a kiln or aced her French test, she began to realize one thing: Killian had stayed. 

Emma had given him plenty of opportunities to run, plenty of chances to wash his hands of her for good, but he never gave up on her, not truly. He proved his love for her over and over again. She was just too scared to see it. But she saw it now. 

And she knew now that she didn't need a man in her life to give her security or stability. She didn't need a man to fill the holes in her heart left by those before him. She didn't need a man at all. It had taken her a long time to realize it, but she finally understood that it was okay to be alone. 

But needing something and wanting something were two different things. Emma knew she didn't need a man to feel complete or worthy. She also knew she had spent far too long denying her desires. She didn't need Killian, but she wanted him. Emma wanted a life, a future with him. The person she was a few months earlier wasn't ready to be in a relationship. She was now.

Emma shook free of her thoughts of Killian and looked down at the script in her hands. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. 

She had only been on one audition in her life and she had been 14 years old at the time. She glanced around the room at the young, beautiful women there who had probably been on hundreds of auditions. 

Emma had purposely turned down any offers of auditions over the last two months. She needed to step back and make sure that acting was what she truly wanted to do, not just something she had fallen into that she happened to be good at it. And during those two months she missed it desperately. She knew it was her passion. 

Today, she was reading for a primetime pilot. It was a fantasy show. She would be reading for the role of a princess.

"Emma Swan," she heard just as she looked back down at the script.

Emma stood on shaky legs and smiled at the assistant as she led her into a large room. There was a conference table on one end with several people sitting at it. A couch sat parallel to it.

"Emma, thank you for coming in today," the casting director said.

"Thank you for the opportunity."

"Will you please do Livie's scene on page 3?"

"Sure."

Emma turned to page 3. She read the scene quickly. She had been practicing it. She licked at her dry lips and swallowed roughly, as she took a deep breath.

"Connor, we could never make things work between us. We come from two different worlds. I'm a princess and you're a pirate. I'm sorry."

The casting director nodded. "That was great. We're familiar with your work already, Emma. You were at the top of our list from the start. We still have others to audition, but we've been taking our top candidates for Livie and doing a chemistry test with our top picks for Connor. Would you be willing to do that?"

Emma nodded. "Of course."

"Great. Can you come back tomorrow at the same time?"

Emma bobbed her head with a grin. "Yes. I'll see you then. Thank you."

Emma left the room, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She had a real chance at getting the role.

...

Emma met Belle for lunch at their favorite little cafe. Her best friend smiled as she sat down across from her.

"So how did it go?" Belle asked.

Emma smiled. "It went great. They want me to do a chemistry test tomorrow with the actors at the top of the list for Connor."

Belle's eyes sparkled with excitement for her. "That is wonderful. I'm so happy for you, Emma. I just know you're going to get it."

Emma nodded. "Thank you."

They lapsed into silence for a few moments while they perused their menus, even though both always ordered the same thing. 

Belle tilted her head to the side. "Okay, go ahead."

Emma's brow furrowed. "What?"

"Ask me how Killian's doing. Everytime we see each other, you find a subtle way to inquire about how he is."

Emma blushed. "Am I that obvious?"

Belle nodded. "Yes."

"I just miss him so much."

"He misses you too," Belle said.

Emma arched her brow. "He does?"

"Of course. He won't admit it, but he finds ways to inquire about you all the time too."

"Is he okay?" Emma asked softly.

"He is. Emma, you've been working on becoming a better person, healing yourself so you can be ready for a relationship. I think he's been doing the same. Robin and I both feared he would never leave the bar after what happened with you, but he made a conscious effort to avoid it. I think he knew drowning his sorrows wouldn't help and that wasn't the man you wanted him to be."

"I'm glad to hear that." Emma paused, dropping her eyes. She licked her lips nervously. "What about dating?"

"You mean did he go back to his womanizing ways?" Belle shook her head. "No, he hasn't. In fact, Robin says he hasn't been with anyone in the last two months."

Emma's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"He knew returning to a playboy wasn't what you wanted for him, that wasn't who you fell in love with."

"But I want him to be happy, Belle."

"He loves you, Emma. I think he's determined to wait for you. And he knows that being with another woman while his heart belongs to you wouldn't be fair to either of them. You of all people should know that."

"You're right," Emma said.

Belle reached over and covered Emma's hand. "I'm really proud of how far you've come, Emma. Killian would be too."

Emma smiled at her best friend.

...

The following day, Emma returned for her second audition. The waiting room now held far less people. There were two other women and two men. They were the short list for Livie and Connor.

Emma sat down and eyed the two men. They were in their early thirties and handsome. One was blonde and blue eyed and the other had dark hair with green eyes. 

Emma knew from her years on soaps that chemistry was tricky. Two people who look good on paper could have no chemistry at all and be rejected by the audience. There was no defining chemistry. There was no predicting or creating it. You either had it or you didn't.

And that made Emma nervous. She could be right for the role, but if she didn't have chemistry with those up for the male lead, then if wouldn't matter. They would choose someone else.

Emma was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear him enter or notice him sit down next to her. She didn't realize he was there until she heard his voice.

"Fancy meeting you here, love."

Emma felt his eyes on her. A smile pulled at her lips and her heart immediately began to race. 

She turned her eyes over to him. He never failed to take her breath away. "Killian."

"Hello, Emma."

"What are you doing here?"

"The same thing you are, I'd imagine. Auditioning."

"You're on the short list for Connor?" Her eyes narrowed at him. "Did you find out I was auditioning for this pilot? Did Belle tell you?"

He shook his head. "I hadn't a clue until I walked into this room and saw your beautiful face."

Emma felt her face redden under his appreciative gaze.

"I don't understand. Are you leaving Love & Lies?"

"My contract was only for one year. I knew I wanted to do pilots so I asked for only a year. The network wanted me to bring up ratings and weren't really looking far into the future anyway so they agreed. My contract will be up soon. If I don't get a primetime gig, then I'll re-sign for another year."

Emma nodded, as her voice lowered. "How's my recast?"

She had quit so suddenly that the show didn't have a chance to write her out. Instead, they had to do an emergency recast. Luckily for them, the star of another soap, "Love in the Afternoon", had just left her show due to a contract negotiations dispute. They scooped her up immediately.

Killian shrugged. "Rebecca is a perfectly fine actress, but she could never fill your shoes, Emma. You originated that character. The audience hasn't accepted her yet and I'm not sure they ever will." He paused and then added, "And our chemistry, well, it's nonexistent. I don't think they're going to keep Eva and Tyler together much longer. You know how chemistry is. It can't be forced, but when you have it, it's magical."

His gaze held Emma's for a long moment. "Yes, it is," she agreed softly.

Killian licked at his lips. "How have you been, Emma? What have you been up to?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I've been keeping busy. I've been doing a lot of things I never had the time to do before. I went to Europe, took cooking classes, learned to make pottery, I'm learning French. I've even been writing."

Killian smiled. "I'm happy for you."

She nodded, her expression growing serious. "I've been learning how to be alone and that it's okay. That it doesn't mean I'm worthless or that I was abandoned. It doesn't mean I'm not deserving of love."

"I'm glad you're discovering things about yourself," Killian said. 

Emma could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I think I'm finally growing up. I think I was a 14 year old girl stuck in a 30 year old woman’s body this whole time."

Her eyes met his and they held for a long moment. Killian reached out and covered her hand with his.

"I miss you," he whispered.

Emma felt her chest tighten with emotion. She could see the love he still had for shining in his eyes.

"I miss you, too," she breathed.

He swallowed roughly. "Emma, I'd like to-"

"Emma Swan, Killian Jones," an assistant called, interrupting the moment.

Emma lowered her eyes and slipped her hand from beneath his, as they both stood and entered the room.

The same people were there as the day before. The casting director addressed them.

"Emma, Killian. Thank you for coming in. We've seen your work together and we know you have great chemistry. It was a stroke of luck that you both auditioned and were at the top of our lists."

"Thank you for considering us," Emma said.

"Aye, thank you for the opportunity."

"You're welcome. Now let's get to it. Please sit on the couch and perform page 8."

Emma and Killian were both nervous about performing together for the first time in so long and after everything that had happened between them. Would their chemistry be affected? Would their past negatively influence their performances?

The script called for them to sit close to each other and for Killian to cup Emma's cheek. They sat down, so close that their lower bodies were touching. He met her eyes, as he slowly lifted his hand to her face. Emma sucked in a breath at feeling his touch again.

"Livie, I know we're from two different worlds. I sail the high seas and you are nobility. And I know that we are quite different. But I also know that I love you and that we belong together."

Emma felt the emotion of his words.

"Connor, my father would never accept you."

"You are your own woman, Livie. What do you want?"

Emma stared at him, not as Livie, but as herself. 

"I want you," she whispered.

Killian's eyes sparkled in delight. As the script instructed, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Emma sighed into the kiss. Killian had missed kissing Emma, feeling her body against his. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth. This was a primetime network show. He knew he wouldn't be scolded.

Emma cupped the back of his head, as she felt his hands travel down to her waist. They finally parted, but their foreheads remained touching, which the script did not call for.

Killian's tongue darted out to his lips to taste her one last time. 

He smiled. "Then I'm yours, milady. The rest we will deal with together."

Emma grinned. They were both relieved and delighted that their chemistry was just as combustible as ever. And their feelings for each other only enhanced their performances. 

They had nearly forgotten the people in the room, until they heard clapping. Killian and Emma turned to look at them.

"That was incredible," the casting director said. "We knew you had chemistry, but, wow."

Emma blushed. "Thank you."

Killian nodded. "Aye, thank you."

"Well, we still have some other chemistry tests to do, but I don't think there's any point in having either of you test with the other actresses and actors up for the roles. There's no way you could have more chemistry with them than each other. We will test them with each other and they'll have to beat your chemistry if they want the roles."

Emma and Killian exchanged excited glances. It sounded like they were their roles to lose.

"Thank you again," he said. "We'll be in touch very soon."

Emma and Killian exited the room and the office. Once in the hall, they turned to each other. Emma excitedly threw her arms around Killian's neck. He wrapped his around her and pulled her close to him. She buried her face in his neck, savoring his scent. Killian closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her body against his again.

They reluctantly parted and met each other's gazes. 

"We could get this," Emma said, her smile wide and her eyes bright with hope.

"Aye, that we could," he replied with a wide grin.

"I've dreamt of being on primetime for a long time."

"As have I."

They fell into silence for a moment, neither wanting to address the elephant in the room. Killian finally gained the courage.

"Would you be comfortable working so closely with me again?" he asked.

They both knew their feelings for each other were just as strong as ever, if not stronger. But if things didn't work out, they didn't know how they would handle it. Emma couldn't just walk away this time. Regina and the network had kindly chosen not to sue her for breach of contract, but she knew a primetime show would not be so forgiving.

Emma swallowed hard. "I think we'd be crazy to pass this opportunity up. We're professionals." She paused and then chuckled lightly. "Most of the time."

Killian smiled. "I believe we can do it, Emma. I believe in us."

Emma nodded and replied softly. "So do I."

Their eyes met and held for another moment. Killian opened his mouth to say something, but then snapped it shut.

Emma longed to tell him she loved him and wanted to be with him. She wanted to tell him she wasn't scared anymore and that she was finally in a place where she was ready to be in a healthy relationship. She opened her mouth and he looked at her expectantly, but no words came out.

Killian finally bowed his head, his eyes flashing with disappointment that he tried to hide from her.

"Goodbye, Emma," he said softly.

"Goodbye, Killian," she whispered.

He turned on his heel and headed for the elevator, as she stood rooted to her spot. He pressed the button and waited. He could feel her eyes on him the whole time. It felt like an eternity before the elevator doors slid open. He stepped inside, forcing himself not to look at her one last time.

Emma watched him disappear into the elevator and her heart dropped into her stomach. He pressed the button for the lobby and Emma saw the doors start to slide closed. 

She didn't realize what she was doing until she was at the elevator, sliding her arm between the doors just before they closed. Killian's eyes widened as the doors slid back open, revealing Emma.

"My apologies. I thought you weren't getting on yet. I didn't think you were ready."

Emma stepped onto the elevator, her eyes never leaving his. 

"I'm ready now," she said, her words carrying more meaning.

The doors slid closed behind her. But before the elevator could start moving, Emma slammed her hand against the stop button, halting its movement.

Killian looked at her. "What are you doing?"

Emma smiled, as she moved close to him and cupped his face in her hands. Their eyes met and held. "Something I should have done a long time ago, but I was too scared. I'm not scared anymore." She paused and then whispered, "I love you, Killian."

Killian's heart immediately began to race, as a smile curled his lips. "I love you, too."

Emma blinked back the happy tears filling her eyes. "I want to be with you. I want to take that risk. I know there are no guarantees, but I don't want them. I just want you. I have spent the last two months trying to figure out who I am, trying to understand how I can deal with being in a relationship. I've grown and changed for the better. But one thing has remained the same. My feelings for you. My love for you. I know we belong together and I know that whatever comes our way, we can deal with it."

Killian's grin widened. "You haven't a clue how long I've waited to hear those words from you."

Emma chuckled. "I have some idea."

She then closed the distance between them and placed a kiss to his lips. This kiss was different from every one they had ever shared, on and off screen. This kiss allowed them to freely express their feelings for one and another. This kiss held promises for the future.

They pulled back and Killian smiled. "You said you've been taking French. Have you learned how to say I love you in French yet?"

Emma nodded, her eyes twinkling. "Yes."

Killian cocked his head to the right, as he brushed a piece of hair off her cheek. "I've heard French is the language of love."

"Is that right?" she asked, as she looped her arms around his neck.

Killian slid his hands down to her hips. "I believe so."

Emma smiled. "Je t'aime," she said softly.

"Je t'aime," he repeated in a whisper, his lips curled into a grin.

Emma loved the sound of those words coming out his mouth, as did Killian. 

"I visited Paris on my trip to Europe. The City of Love and I was all alone, missing you like crazy. I kept seeing all of these couples holding hands, eating romantic dinners, kissing under the stars. And all I could think about was how one day I wanted to go back and experience the magic of that city with you."

Killian nodded. "I think that can be arranged."

Then he placed another kiss to her lips.

Killian pulled back and met her eyes, as he lifted his hand to her cheek, his thumb brushing across her jaw. 

"We finally got to finish what we started in that elevator," he said.

Emma laughed lightly. "And without an audience this time."

She then pressed a kiss to his lips again.

...  
Emma arrived at the bar and found Belle already sipping a martini. 

"You started without me?" she asked, as she sat down across from her.

"It was that kind of day. Couldn't remember my lines to save my life," Belle said.

"Sorry," Emma said. 

She then stared at Belle, unable to keep the smile off her face.

Belle eyed her best friend over her martini. "What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

Belle shrugged. "You've got this huge smile on your face and your eyes are just sparkling." She paused. "Did you get the part?"

Emma shook her head. "I don't know yet. The chemistry test went really well. Guess who I tested with?"

Belle stared at her for a moment, before her mouth dropped. "No! Killian?!"

Emma bobbed her head. "Yes and it was so amazing seeing him again. I told him how I've been growing and trying to find out who I am. We reconnected and I wanted to tell him that I loved him and I wanted to be with him."

"But?" Belle asked.

"But I couldn't get the words out in time and he started to leave."

"Oh, Emma," Belle said. 

Emma's smiled grew wide. "I didn't let him go, Belle. I went after him. I stopped the elevator and I told him I loved him. I told him I wasn't scared anymore and I wanted to be with him."

Belle jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around Emma. "I am so happy for both of you. It's about time!"

Belle sat back down as Emma met her eyes. "Thank you. And thank you for always being there for me, even when I make it pretty impossible to be my friend."

"We're family, Emma. I'll always be there. And now Killian will too."

"Did I just hear my name?" Emma heard come from behind her. 

She looked up and found Killian staring down at her.

"Hello, love," he said, before leaning down to place a kiss on her lips.

"Hello," Emma said, her smile spreading across her lips.

Killian sat down next to Emma. She reached over and linked their fingers together. He smiled and tightened his grip on her hand.

Belle shook her head at them. "I'm really happy for you two. I now look forward to years of your displays of affection annoying me."

Killian and Emma could only laugh.

...

One week later, Emma and Killian received the good news they had been waiting for. They were the new stars of the primetime show "The Princess and The Pirate." The pilot would start filming in a few months, just as Killian's contract was up with the soap.

Killian came up behind Emma as she stood at the stove stirring her risotto. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss to her neck. Emma giggled as his scruff tickled her skin.

"Stop distracting me or I'll ruin the risotto," she said without conviction.

"Do you really want me to stop distracting you?" he muttered against her skin.

Emma closed her eyes and threw her head back onto his shoulder, as she dropped the spoon into the pan.

"No," she breathed.

"Good," he whispered.

Emma turned around in his arms and found his mouth, her tongue diving in. Killian's hands moved down her sides to her hips and he lifted her up onto the counter. He moved between Emma's legs as she wrapped them around his waist.

"I think dinner can wait," he said as his lips trailed down her chest.

Emma nodded, as she clawed at the muscles of his back. "We finally agree on something."

Emma reached over and turned off the stove. Killian lifted her up and she wrapped her legs more tightly around him, as she snaked her arms around his neck. She then met his lips again.

Killian somehow managed to make it to the bedroom without injuring either one of them. He gently laid Emma down on the bed and then hovered above her. 

They both recalled when they had to pretend to make love on screen and how carried away they had gotten. But now they were all alone. They were in a committed relationship and had declared their love to each other. There was no stopping them now.

Killian caressed her cheek. "You're unbelievably beautiful, Emma."

She smiled as she made quick work of the buttons of his shirt and slid it off of him. He helped her with his pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs. She could see he was very ready. A moment later, his boxer briefs were gone. 

Killian's mouth moved back to Emma's skin. She sat up and together they removed her t-shirt. He smiled at her lacy purple bra and his mouth immediately moved to the tops of her breasts. He kissed across her shoulder, pulling the strap down with his teeth. Emma arched her back, as she felt his hand undo the clasp of her bra. She pulled back for a moment and finished removing the bra. Killian's eyes darkened with desire at seeing her bare for the first time. His mouth moved to replace her bra, as his hands pulled her matching panties off.

He pulled back for a moment and brought his hand up to her cheek. "God, I love you," he whispered.

Emma smiled. "I love you, too. So much."

And then Killian entered her. They established a rhythm that had them both breathless. Emma flipped them over and straddled his hips, remembering when she had done the same thing during their love scene. This time, there was no stopping them. Killian reached up and cupped her breasts as she moved above him. She leaned down and kissed him, her hair tickling his chest.

When they had reached their peaks together, Emma collapsed on top of him. She placed her head over his heart, smiling at how it was racing. Killian wrapped his arms around her.

They reveled in the opportunity to lay there and hold each other. They thought they had lost their chance, but now they knew it was just the beginning. 

Killian trailed his fingers across Emma's bare back.

"Did you ever think we would end up here that first day when we bumped into each other and your dress got ruined? And then you didn't even want to change in front of me."

Emma chuckled as she found his free hand and entwined their fingers. "Can't say that I did."

Emma paused and then lifted her head, propping her chin up on his chest as she met his eyes. Her brow furrowed.

"Hey, what ever happened to that dress? You were supposed to get it dry cleaned."

Killian laughed. "You're just remembering that now?"

"I’ve had a lot on my mind."

"Well, love, I hate to break the news to you, but that dress is in a landfill somewhere."

Emma playfully swatted his chest. "You owe me a dress, Mr. Jones."

Killian smiled. "I owe you a lot more than that. And I intend to give you everything you deserve and more." 

Emma lips curled upward. 

He then added, as his hand ran down her back. "Although I do believe I prefer you sans clothes anyway."

Emma laughed, as she lifted her lips to his.

...

~One Year Later~

Emma and Killian walked hand-in-hand in Paris. The past year had been the best of their lives. Their primetime show was a huge hit, propelling them to stardom they had only dreamt of. They loved getting to work together everyday. 

But the best part of the last year was getting to spend it together. It was even better than either one of them could have imagined. Two months earlier, Emma had asked Killian to move in with her. It was a huge step for a woman who had been terrified to risk getting her heart broken again. She still knew there were no guarantees but she also knew that every moment she got to spend with Killian was a gift.

They were currently on hiatus from their show and Killian had surprised Emma with a trip to Paris. They had spent two blissfully wonderful weeks exploring the City of Love. Tonight was their last night there.

Emma looked up at Killian, her heart so full of love for him she thought it might burst. “Experiencing this city with you is so much better than experiencing it by myself.”

“I have loved every moment we have spent here together,” he said, as he dropped a kiss to her temple.

Emma looked down at the itinerary she had in her hand. She had meticulously planned out all of the places she wanted to visit. Still, Killian was able to convince her to be a little spontaneous here and there.

Emma pointed. “Here. This is the last place I want to go.”

Killian smiled. “Lead the way.”

…

Emma and Killian arrived at the Butte Montmartre in The Square des Abbesses in Paris. Emma led the way to their destination.

“Here it is,” she said.

“It’s beautiful,” Killian said, as he looked at the wall before him.

“It’s called the Le mur des je t'aime, which translates to I love you: the wall. I love you is written in more than 300 languages on the wall. I sought this place out when I came to Paris and I thought of you, Killian. I thought of how one day I wanted to experience it with you.”

Killian stood behind Emma and wrapped him arms around her waist, as he placed a kiss on her hair. “I’m glad I get to experience it with you.”

Emma lifted her hand to point. “See the splashes of red? They represent broken hearts. It helped me realize that the only way to truly heal a broken heart is to love again.”

Emma tilted her head up and Killian’s lips met hers. They then turned their attention back to the wall, as they took in its beauty and meaning.

After a few moments, Emma felt Killian’s arms slip away from her body. She let out a little groan at the loss of contact and then turned around.

Her mouth dropped open at what was before her. Killian was down on bended knee and he was holding a red, velvet ring box in his hands.

She brought her hand up to her mouth. “Oh my God.”

Killian took her other hand in his. “Emma, this last year with you has been the best of my life. I know it was a long, difficult road to get where we are today, but I wouldn’t change any of it. We are stronger today than I ever imagined we could be. I love you with all of my heart and soul. You have made me so happy and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to give you the life you’ve deserved since you were a little girl.” 

Tears streamed down Emma’s cheeks as he spoke. Her heart was pounding in her chest. 

He paused and took a deep breath. “Emma Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

This felt so different from every time August had proposed. She wasn’t scared. She was unbelievably happy and at peace. She didn’t hesitate. Her head bobbed up and down.

“Yes! I will marry you, Killian!”

Killian grinned from ear-to-ear, as he opened the box, took out the ring, and placed it on her finger. Emma didn’t even look at it. It didn’t matter what it looked like. All that mattered was that it was from him and a symbol of their love and future together.

Emma leaned down and cupped his face in her hands, pulling him into a standing position. She pressed her lips to his in a kiss, as his arms snaked around her waist.

They parted a moment later, their foreheads still touching, as Killian brushed a tear off her cheek with his thumb.

“Je t'aime,” Emma said.

“Je t'aime,” Killian replied with a grin before kissing her again.

…

“Killian, this is not the way back to our hotel,” Emma said.

“You’re quite perceptive, love,” he said. “We have one more stop to make tonight.”

Killian led the way to a boat on the river Seine. He handed the captain some money and thanked him for allowing them to have the boat to themselves.

Killian helped Emma into the boat. They sat down on a padded bench. Emma moved close to Killian, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Where are we going? This was not on the itinerary,” she said with a smile.

“You’re not the only one who can plan things, you know,” he said. “I was planning on proposing to you at that wall the minute you showed me your itinerary.”

Emma smiled. “You were?”

“Aye. Don’t worry, love. I think you will approve of this little detour.”

The boat began its journey down the river. Emma laid her head on Killian’s shoulder, enjoying his warmth. The stars and Paris lights twinkled on the water. Emma noticed them glisten off her ring. She really looked at it for the first time. It had a three carat princess cut diamond with two white gold hearts holding it in place. It was almost as gorgeous as the man who had given it to her.

They enjoyed the ride in silence, a soft breeze blowing around them. Emma never thought she would be able to feel comfortable sitting in silence with someone, but she did with Killian. 

“This is it,” Killian said, raising his arm to point. 

Emma lifted her head and looked at where he was pointing. It was a bridge.

“It’s the Pont Marie,” he said.

“I didn’t see it last time I was here,” she said.

“Do you know the legend?” he asked.

Emma shook her head. “No.”

“Legend says that if you kiss the person next to you and make a wish while passing beneath it then you’ll be granted everlasting love.”

Emma smiled. “I think I already got my wish.”

Killian grinned as they began to pass under the bridge. “As have I. But I thought it would be a perfect way to end a perfect night and a brilliant way to start our life together.”

Emma nodded, her smile widening. "I couldn't agree more."

Then she lifted her head and he lowered his lips to hers. They parted a moment later and Emma placed her head back on Killian's shoulder, as they came out the other side.

Emma felt a smile pull at her lips at the symbolism. They had come out on the other side stronger than ever and ready to begin a future together that was full of possibilities. 

………………………………................................................The End……..............................................................................................  
Thanks for reading the story! I hope you liked the end! I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to give! ~Steph


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